Annoying Internet Acronyms

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In a world where everything we hold dear -from friends and family to news and porn- is a mouse click away, we’ve stopped wasting time spelling and gone on acronym overload. This linguistic phenomenon of shortening everything for basic conversation is getting obnoxious, and makes us worried for future generations. Here are some acronyms we’re particularly ready to see phased out.

F.M.L (”F” My Life): This one has spread like wild fire and needs to be extinguished. Sensationalized thanks to FMyLife.com, The phrase has become spam-filling our text inboxes, facebook walls, and conversations. While the site had good intentions, and chuckle-worthy anecdotes, it’s becoming tired. The “woe-is-me” tales are bordering on pathetic, rather than unfortunate. Life is not all sunshine, rainbows and fairy dust. Your life is not F-ed because of every inconvenient incident. There are people who are starving, living in war torn countries, and dying from incurable diseases-or all three. F.Their.L., not yours.

L.O.L/R.O.T.F.L/L.M.A.O: While LOL is by far the most overused acronym we can think of, we’ve combined multiple versions because they’re equally ridiculous. If people did roll around in hysterical fits of laughter, psych wards would be full. And if laughing our asses off were physically possible, there are a few IBY staff members who should be looking much tighter. Simply stating “that’s funny” with a few really-s, for good measure, is all you need to qualify humor. So,, unless you’re really lol-ing, stop LOL-ing.

GTG (Got To Go)

ImmaSnatch: His parents aren’t home, gonna get some! G2G! AlwaysTheFriend: I gtg 2. Bye.

G.T.G: GTG -sometimes with a clever “2” instead of the “T”- replaced kinder valedictions with instant messaging. Newsflash, B-y-e is as quick as g-t-g. (and it sounds less juvenile) Aside from its overuse, GTG isn’t the nicest way to end a conversation. Would you end a phone call from your Grandmother with “Gotta Go”, we hope not. GTG is a waste of the English language. Our solution: stop the rudeness and redundancy, and switch back to bye.

B.R.B: When chatting via text, telling someone you’re not going to reply right away, but will return and finish the convo, makes sense. Typing BRB after every sentence is overkill. Chances are what you’re saying is only marginally better than whatever \task the other person had at hand. No one is hanging on your every word. No one will die in suspense if you don’t respond immediately. If you want consistent back and forth, use those minutes. If not, go ahead and take the time to pop your back, blow your nose, or pirate New Moon… we’ll be here.

J.K: Sarcasm has been called the lowest form of wit, but we think adding JK after a sarcastic remark is even lower. If a joke isn’t apparent enough for basic comprehension, it either sucks or you need a new audience. People seem to think JK is an instant retraction for whatever ill-received statement they made. But this isn’t court; there is no striking from the record. The idea of JK isn’t the problem; it’s the abuse. The economy is down and it’s almost Oscar season, maybe now is a time to be more serious.

O.M.G: Some feel the phrase OMG is insulting to their religion. We find it is more insulting to our intelligence. Like FML, some people feel their sad life deserves an exclamation of OMG. Unlike FML, OMG seems to have become versatile enough to fit all situations- not just the crappy ones. When something really bad happens pout it out with OMG. When something really good happens holla OMG. Having a mediocre moment, OMG is there to make it above average. The valley girl talk should stay in the 90s. Today geek is chic. In layman’s terms, OMG has GTG.

W.T.F: That “F” just loves to find its way into acronyms, and it does help them roll off the tongue rather nicely. But we are all getting sick of all those f-ers ruining phrases like WTF. When kids who haven’t even reached double digit ages yet are saying WTF , the fun is over. Abuse of an acronym with a swear word does double damage and gives off a sense of trying too hard. It’s comparable to pre-teens swearing because it’s cool. It all comes out less effective and much less cool.

ILY (I Love You)

VrgnNoMr: I’m so glad I decided to stay over last night. I love you. Dont_Hate_the_Playa: <3 VrgnNoMr: Dont_Hate_the_Playa: …ILY?

I.L.Y : There comes a time in romantic relationships when, among other things, the L word must be popped. The way to do this shouldn’t be via text and it certainly shouldn’t be abbreviated. Even when you’ve been lovin’ a long time, the genuine thing to do is spell it out.It is three letters, I-L-Y, versus eight letters, I-Love-You. Is it that much more difficult? We don’t think so, and we just typed both! With the days of touch screens and full keyboard phones upon us, there is no excuse for ILY.

T.T.Y.L: If you can say something as lame as TTYL to someone you’re either considered friends or, at least, frequent acquaintances. This means that the odds of both parties speaking again are high. If you’re worried this person won’t want to talk to you again we promise adding TTYL will not help your chances. After all is said and done, using TTYL is as nonsensical as wearing a Snuggie™ - they might make you feel good, but both are unnecessary and leave you looking like an idiot.

B.T.W : BTW should only be used when you left off something important. After that, wrap it up. Using BTW to keep a conversation going is not cute, it looks desperate. Yelling BTW, or typing anything in caps, to relieve rage is no better. Storming off, or signing off, in anger then yelling BTW *insert rude remark here*, does not make you the bigger person. We think a good rule of thumb is this- if you have to use BTW more than three times in one conversation, consider investing in an ADD drug or getting checked for Alzheimer’s.

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