MTV’s Jersey Shore Quotes by Guidos

If you haven’t seen Jersey Shore yet, you are missing out. MTV’s brought back dumb in a big way with their latest “reality” show. The ridiculousness is unrivaled and almost infuriating since all the kids on Jersey Shore talk about the kids on Jersey Shore in the third person. Advertisers are pulling out left and right, so you KNOW it’s good. We can’t let you miss out on the fun, so we’ve put together the sweetest soundbites on the new characters to give you a taste. Check out their best quotes from the first episode and bask in the fake tan glow:

Pauly D

“I was born and raised a guido. It’s a life style. It’s about representing- family, Italian, tanning, gel. I got a f*cking tanning bed in my place. That’s how serious I am about being a guido.”

Nicole “Snooki”

“Can you hold my hair? I gotta throw up.”

Mike “The Situation”

“We have a situation here. My abs are so ripped… that it’s called a situation”

Sammi “Sweatheart”

“A guidette is someone who Knows how to club it up. takes really good care of themselves, has really pretty hair, cakes on makeup, has tan skin, wears the hottest heels.”