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Have months of winter beer imbibing left you with a little extra blubber in the belly region? Layers of winter clothing are one way to disguising a burgeoning gut, but it’s rather unoriginal. The rule of the beer belly is: If you got it, flaunt it. Here are some creative ways to put your beer belly to use while showing it off:
Use 1: Education
If the only thing you’ve read lately are the Pabst Blue Ribbon nutritional facts, it’s time to branch out. Use your belly as a book shelf. Relaxing at the beach can be an educational experience. Bring sunscreen and Flaubert. Mix well.
Use 2: Dance Support
Sometimes the ladies get a little shy about getting on the dance floor. Luckily, your beer belly can provide comfort and support. No more tipsy falls while getting their groove on when they got a belly to hold on to. Win-win.
Use 3: Fashion Statement
Real women love curves. If your overalls are covering your belly, FIX THAT. The beer gut is 2010’s must-have accessory so grab a pair of scissors and tailor your wardrobe. It’s time to make a statement.
Use 4: Life Saver
Maybe you haven’t been paying attention, but there are A LOT of dangerous open holes around. Holes that could kill you if you fell in them. Use your belly as a land flotation device. Embrace the beer blubber because if could save your life.
Use 5: Drink Holder
Use your massive gut to facilitate the drinking of more beer! A large beer belly ensures the drinker more room in a crowded bar and also serves a built-in drink holder. Cheers!
Use 6: Food Holder
Similar in idea to “Use 5: Drink Holder,” but just as complicated. It takes years of practice to get this type of balance down.
Use 7: Searing Critique of Societal Standards
Why should society be allowed to set unacheivable measures of beauty? Who says a man must have six-pack abs to be considered attractive and worthy? Not you. Use your beer belly as a satirical canvas to point out the flaws in society. Orrrrrr- just get a hilarious tattoo for the hell of it.
Use 8: Weapon
That girl just laugh at you? Beer belly smother in 10… 9… 8…
Use 9: Modeling Jobs
The market is there- it’s yours to tap. Head down to your nearest modeling agency, take some head shots, and wait for the endorsements to roll in.
Use 10: Obscenely Large Splashes
If you got a belly, you might as well impress your friends with the biggest damn belly flop they have ever seen.
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beer belly Posted under Lists by gotgame
haha! disgusting
by: Penis, Feb 4th at 2:32 am
Disgusting but funny!
by: E.J., Feb 5th at 9:21 am
thats no six pack.. that is without a doubt a kegger. lmfao
by: cok N mavag, Feb 17th at 9:11 pm