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By Chelsea Latimer
Why is it that so many kids movies seem to be made for adults? In fact, some of the films marketed at kids are downright creepy! Here is a list of the 7 most inappropriate kids movies in recent memory:
1. Kids
Just because the title has “kids” in it does not mean this one is suitable for the children. The 1995 movies depicts blossoming children of New York City in an incredibly disturbing and dark manner; there’s sex (de-flowering to be specific), booze, HIV, gang banging, among other horrendous scenes you wouldn’t want your kids to be a part of. The message? Keep ‘em off the street I suppose, it’ll make you think twice about letting your child be a “latchkey kid.”
2. UP
This Pixar film that paints the picture in it’s trailer of a nosey little boy, an old man and a sh*load of balloons. In the full film, you come to realize it isn’t really about that at all….in fact, everyone over the age of 18, seemed to be bawling like babies in the movie theater by the end of the story. The movie was indeed cinematically appealing to the eye of the children; animated, bright, etc. the story however geared more towards pulling the heartstrings of the parent watching. It’s evident that the emotionally charged story line and melancholy score weren’t suitable for the young tots. Stick with “Toy Story” to be safe.
3. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
The original movie, Willy Wonka certainly had it’s moment of gumdrops and chocolate rivers that were enticing to the eye of the children; it was a land that they’d always dreamed of- one that existed only in their dreams. But, it was clear that there was a pyschedlic element to the whole drama, with the flashing images, drowning and “disposing” of children that was much more dark and complex than kids may understand. Tim Burton’s 2005 depiction of the tale took it to a whole new level of creepy. Let’s just say they made Johnny Depp looks like someone I wouldn’t let feed candy, or come anywhere near my children…the blacked out eyes, the oversized teeth and the bob hairdo- all scream child molester to me. Just sayin’.
4. The Wizard of Oz
Witches, flying monkeys, a “magical place” and a country girl- all ingredients for a successful children’s story…. Except for the imagery was perhaps a bit too realistic? I had nightmare about those monkeys for months…and God knows anytime there was a routine “tornado drill” we were all convinced that a house would land on us from the Twister and we’d be goners. The Wizard of Oz made children completely irrational; Lions aren’t cowardly, or friendly for that matter, clicking your heels won’t land you in Oz and Witches aren’t green….they usually come in the form of your Mother in Law. Or something along those lines.
5. Beetle Juice
The first time I “honked” my private parts while my parents had company over as a young kid, was also the last time watching Beetlejuice was allowed in my household. The PG rated movie is laced with sexual innuendo, headless ghosts, graveyards and skeeze. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I even understood how inappropriate the movie actually was….honk honk!
6. Where the Wild Things Are
The famous children’s book was made into a film 2009 by eccentric director Spike Jonze- though the book was geared towards children, the film that used music by indie artists such as Arcade Fire and Karen-O of The Yeah Yeah Yeahs was addressing issues that were far more relatable to that of the adult viewer. The only thing about the movie that would be even semi-appealing to children were the monsters and the animation, which to be quite frank were pretty scary at times. I found myself with the heebie jeebies, checking under the bed afterwards…even though they turn out to be nice in the end, save this as a rental for “date night” with your hunny, not your kid.
7. Bambi
Hey, I have an idea- let’s just kill the little fawns mother in a horrific fire? How about that? How about- TERRIBLE EFFING IDEA, DISNEY. You know who walked out of Bambi when she was a kid because there were “too many sad people in there”…..this girl, right here. I did. As adults we have to go through enough trauma…no need to introduce such horrendous scenarios to innocent little eyes? MMkay? Thanks.
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children kids movies Posted under Lists by Chelsea_Latimer
I have to disagree with the comment about “where the wild things are” because the movie was entirely for kids. Its not for parents of kids really. The movie ENTIRELY encapsulates the loneliness and misunderstandings that happen when you are a child under a stressful roof. All the children who came out of the theater that I saw were happy but none of the parents were. So let your kids watch it, just dont be in the room with them.
by: Caroline, Mar 3rd at 2:19 pm
Bambi’s mother died by gunshot and Willy Wonka was a terrible movie. The one with Gene Wilder.
by: Rain, Mar 3rd at 9:00 pm
Wow, you are way too senstitive. You mentioned some movies (Up, Bambi, WTWTA) that are great discussion starters.
by: Michael, Mar 4th at 8:48 pm
The article is bad, and you should feel bad.
by: Rick, Mar 5th at 2:57 am
I think you underestimate children. I think you want children to watch movies that talk down to them and treat them like idiots. I think Where the Wild Things Are and Up are movies that challenge the kids and force them to think a little. In your world kids should just be treated like cats. Showing them something shiny to distract them. I’d hate to be a kid that has to watch only the movies that you think are appropriate to me. I’d be lucky to not grow up brain dead. And Kids is a smart film that is obviously not for Kids. Your inclusion of that one was just lazy and if meant as a joke, it wasn’t that funny.
by: Red Beard, Mar 5th at 2:58 am
I think you’ve missed the point of just about every entry on your list. See, when a movie has themes definitely aimed at children, AND themes definitely aimed at adults, it’s called a family movie. This makes it enjoyable for both the kids, and the parents who will inevitably end up watching it with said kids.
Now see, this is a practice known as appealing to a wide, diverse audience, and it’s one of the best ways to sell tickets. The children leave with their cinematic needs satisfied, and so do the adults, and neither of the themes that do so compromise the other.
The darker elements of, for instance, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory by no means negate what the children are to take from the film, nor does it make it an “inappropriate” movie for them to watch. Though the chimo look of Johnny Depp in the new one was a bit much.
Next time, try leveling valid criticisms at movies, rather than try to come up with bullshit reasons why family movies shouldn’t be watched by, well, the whole family.
Final aside, your first entry shouldn’t even be on here. Considering the content of the film, I highly doubt it was ever marketed as a kids film. I think it is you who have made the mistake of thinking that the title “Kids” means it’s supposed to be for children, not the audience.
by: Daniel, Mar 5th at 4:04 am
rain, you are completely wrong. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory was brilliant. just cause johnny depp was in the new one doesnt make it instantly a wonderful movie. and those umpa loompas…awful. Gene Wilder > Johnny Depp when it comes to crazy-candiers
by: umbrella, Mar 5th at 4:12 am
Since when was Betelgeuse a kids movie? You realize that a PG rating meant something different back then, right? Jaws was rated PG for crying out loud.
The Wizard of Oz was never intended to be a movie for children. That some people decided it was a kid’s movie several decades later is inconsequential.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was based off of a children’s book, not a remake of the 1970s Gene Wilder movie.
The author of this article comes across like an uneducated suburban soccer mom.
by: Sean, Mar 5th at 4:35 am
You missed the worst of all. . Gremlins!!
by: Edna, Mar 5th at 5:31 am
Let’s not forget about Disney’s “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”. Pole dancing and a naked woman dancing in the fire “taunting” the clergyman made it so my children have never seen it.
by: Sugar, Mar 5th at 8:43 am
You forgot Old Yeller as well…we were shown this one deliberately as elementary school kids…I was in grade 3 and we were shown Bedknobs and Broomsticks then Old Yeller in our schools gym…picture a bunch of 8 year olds bawling their eyes out.
Personally I never looked at my dog the same way again…I always wondered when he was going to go insane and bite me even though he was the sweetest dog ever (yellow lab as well)
This one really screwed me up as a child.
by: Seth, Mar 5th at 2:56 pm
It scares the hell out of me that the person that wrote is is probably raising kids. I feel so sorry for them.
by: Kevin, Mar 5th at 4:28 pm
Yes. Let’s shelter children from anything that might possibly frighten them or make them sad. Let’s let kids only watch happy, light-hearted movies where nothing bad ever happens to anyone. That way, they will be better prepared for life, where nothing bad ever happens to anyone. But best of all, if we make only non-challenging movies for kids then parents will never have to have actual discussions with their children.
by: ELBSeattle, Mar 6th at 12:36 am
i can agree with maybe 2 out of all of these… who made this crap list? sheesh someone was having their “time of the month”
by: LO, Mar 6th at 1:20 am
You’re an idiot.
by: anonymous, Mar 6th at 2:26 pm
PG means parental Guidance. Meaning maybe an adult should watch it BEFORE allowing their kids ti watch. Family movies are rated U for Universal as in the whole family can watch it without parents having to screen it first
by: Stephen, Mar 6th at 6:06 pm
Bambi is a classic movie. MGM made about 10 or 15 cartoons with parents dying, kids always saw that kind of thing.
by: Metal-god, Mar 6th at 7:19 pm
GEEZZZZ.. Have any of you hung out in the school yard lately.. These movies are the least of our worries..
by: Lala, Mar 6th at 8:35 pm
Ms. Latimer, it is a shame some commentators here have taken so seriously your amusing and well-written piece.
by: E Kent, Mar 6th at 9:03 pm
“Kids” has never been kids movie. It is completely beyond me, why this movie is in this list.
by: Occasional stumbler, Mar 7th at 7:27 am
The only people who argue that Where the Wild Things Are should be watched by children are people who are screwed up by their own sad childhoods and jealous of those kids who have had happier lives. This movie is way too dark (almost demented), depressing and just plain joyless to inflict on children (or adults). Nothing good can come of a child’s viewing this crap - but perhaps that’s what some people want…misery loves company. Shame on them!
by: Sue, Mar 7th at 10:08 am
You sir…..are an idiot!
by: name, Mar 10th at 6:12 am
You know… I think my feelings on your comment about Where the Wild Things Are is the same as the feelings of the author of the book, when he was asked what he would tell people who thought the film was too scary for children “They can go hell.” or something along those lines.
by: Anonym, Mar 13th at 4:53 am
From the title to the rationale, none of this made sense.
by: chris (regrets that he stumbled this), Mar 13th at 9:17 pm
I completely disagree with everything you have said. Children are not invalids, expose them to something real, real emotion, fear, and something uncomfortable. Babying them only makes them less able to deal with the real world. Face it, children ALSO live in the real world, not just grown-ups.
by: Julie, Mar 15th at 1:28 pm
This is completely insane. I watched a lot of these movies as a kid and I wasn’t disturbed or upset by them at all. Kids understand complex emotions better than you seem to realize. They have a better understanding of what’s real and what isn’t better than most people, especially you apparently, seem to think. And maybe you should look in on your comment about Where the Wild Things Are, becuz even the director said it was not aimed towards kids, but young adults who grew up reading the book. And just becuz you were too stupid of a kid to get that grabbing your crotch with guests over is a bad idea doesn’t mean all kids are.
by: Jaws, Mar 20th at 2:27 pm
The only movies I agree with here are Kids, which I’ve never actually seen but the picture used is enough; and Beetle Juice.
The rest just sound like an overly-protective parent freaking out about their children seeing REAL life things depicted in movies.
You cant shelter and baby your kids forever. A little fear is good, a little emotion, a little love even. I agree, a young child should not see people have sex, per say, but some kissing and hugging is fine. They’re going to see it or hear about it somewhere and honestly, the earlier these things are exposed to your children, the less ignorant they will be when “all the other kids” are talking about these issues.
I work at a preschool and a little girl told be that “Where the Wild Things” was a “BAD” movies.
I was floored. The movie sucked, but it wasn’t “bad” for kids.
by: Kristen, Mar 20th at 4:46 pm
Apparently only humorless apes are stumbling to this post, because I thought it was hilarious and right on the money.
The point isn’t “don’t expose children to the real world,” it’s “the real world’s hard enough, so let’s escape reality and watch a movie that doesn’t suck your soul out of your belly button.” (UP, I’m talking to you. That movie had very mature themes to it, themes that aren’t necessarily appropriate in a children’s movie.) Sorry I don’t want my hypothetical future kids to try and empathize with a man who’s lost the love of his life. Sorry I don’t want to show the kids Schindler’s List and Sophie’s Choice and Philadelphia so they’ll know what the “real world” is like.
Sheesh.
by: Nicole, Mar 20th at 9:08 pm
I totally agree about Bambi and UP… IF I spent the first 30 minutes of the movie thinking I was not going to make it to the end it was so incredibly sad I don’t think children should watch it.
by: CodeMyConcept, Mar 22nd at 9:12 am
Yes, cause we should show our children nothing but happy, uplifting views of the world, so that they will be TOTALLY disillusioned as young adults.
by: Don, Mar 22nd at 1:00 pm
This list is downright ridiculous.
Kids - OBVIOUSLY not a kids movie. I’m sure there’s tons of porn with ‘baby’ in the title, does that mean it’s meant for toddlers?
UP - yeah yeah, it has sad parts, but a happy ending, like every other kids movie. “Stick with Toy Story”, seriously? going with your ‘theory’ Toy Story is terrible, with all the butchered, disfigured toys being tortured by a kid, that sad sad scene where Woody gets replaced by Buzz, etc.
Charlie - If you think Charlie is creepier than Willy WOnka, I think you need to watch them again. Tim Burton really toned down the creepy factor from the original movie.
Wizard of Oz - just because monkeys give you nightmares, and you believe everything movies tell you, doesn’t mean everyone else does. Oz isn’t scary or creepy at all.
Beetlejuice - again, not a kids movie.
Where the Wild Things Are - this movie is aimed at adults who read the books as kids.
Bambi - And Disney kills parents all the time, not just Bambi. Lion King and Tarzan off the top of my head.
by: Joe, Mar 23rd at 12:26 am
Goodness me! So much hate; I swear it’s not possible for someone to create a list without being endlessly criticised. I may not agree with everything in the post, but it was an enjoyable read nonetheless.
Chelsea Latimer: Thank you for creating something light-hearted and interesting to read that took up but a few moments of my time.
by: Sonya, Mar 23rd at 12:19 pm
Drop Dead Fred
by: Enrique, Mar 23rd at 12:20 pm
While some of these kids movies have imagery that stay with them (I experienced some of the same, too) I don’t think it’s inappropriate. It’s just saddening and shocking, and children aren’t desensitized to those already? And I see nothing wrong with UP.
They took out a depressing scene from Bolt that could have made the movie really great. It was a little brutal… but it would’ve been done in an artistic, simple way that kids would understand but not be freaked out by.
by: PopCultureMaiden, Mar 23rd at 1:59 pm
I disagree with your comments on Up.
Up was able to tackle a very important, distressing and usually one of the most difficult subjects in a manner suitable to both children and adults.
And that topic was death.
I am not saying out children need to be inundated with messages of our morality and grim reapers; but the subject of death and “where did grandma go and why is everyone so sad?”
It’s a marvelous tale on loss and how to deal with it, it’s something which *should* be shown to children.
by: M. Pence, Mar 23rd at 7:57 pm
I’m sincerely bothered by this list. Kids are completely capable of understanding the (sometimes dark) movie themes you’re describing. I’m particularly bothered by your reference to “indie music”, as though kids can’t “handle” indie music? I don’t even see your point in mentioning the soundtrack of a movie. Just because something is sad doesn’t mean a kid can’t understand it. Plenty of children will have to deal with a parent or loved one dying too early, isn’t it better that they get some gentle exposure to what death is really like before getting smacked in the face with the real thing? I don’t think there was a single movie on here that I agreed with, except maybe the first one, but I seriously doubt that that was geared toward anyone younger than 14 or 15, and a 14 or 15 year old could handle even those “adult” themes. They are probably going to deal with them in their real lives too. You can’t keep kids innocent forever.
by: Caitlin, Mar 23rd at 8:29 pm
Why hasn’t anyone said anything about Alice in Wonderland? hahaha that entire thing is a giant acid trip with a psychotic walrus luring little clams into his house and then eating them, then getting chased by an equally psychotic british man with a hammer. with a catepillar smoking a shisha. and telling her to take different pills to make her grow (upper) or shrink (downers). It’s really quite fucked all in all.
but yeah people lighten up a bit. It’s not the end of the world.
by: Tom, Mar 23rd at 11:24 pm
this list is complete bs! i can’t figure out if the person who wrote it is being serious or not. kids don’t read into stuff as much as we do as adults and dont look for hidden meanings behind things (one of the most popular kids tv shows of all time, The Magic Roundabout was based on drug trips, as was one of the most popular kids books and films Alice In Wonderland)Kids just take things at face value.
Kids like to be scared for gods sake! why do you think they tell each other ghost stories and books like goosebumps sold so well?!
Edward scissorhands is a textbook example- it was one of my favourite films as a child, i absolutley loved it (and still do to this day) and it was dark and creepy as hell in parts, yet still touching and heartfelt. I know I for one will show all of the above films to my future children without hesitation (with the exception of kids)
by: danny, Mar 26th at 7:53 pm
Hoo boy, this blogger picked a hot one. Not sure if this is the Chelsea Latimer singer/songwriter (23). It might help to explain to folks where you’re coming from before you make broad sweeping statements that imply folks are bad parents if they let their kids watch movies from your list. If you think you didn’t actually say that in your article, then you are woefully ignorant of the sensitivity of parents and not too bright in the writing department. You might want to also actually do some very brief research on the history of childrens’ lit, plays, and fairy tales. Hans Christian Anderson, Mother Goose, Grims Fairy Tales, Dickens… these all have dark themes and complex characters. The mindless twaddle they spoon feed kids on Nickelodeon and the Disney channel does for young minds what cornsyrup has done to their waistlines.
Let children see these films. Let them learn to think, argue, discuss, and grow.
by: media savvy, Mar 27th at 12:29 am
this list sucks, some of these movies werent even designed for children… >facepalm<
by: brian, Mar 27th at 11:02 am
Funny weve ALL watched wizard of oz as kids (or most of us) and we seem to be fine. I think your list is a bit far on the conservative side. Wizard of oz is my 3 year old brother’s favorite movie and Where the wild things are and UP are both perfectly suitable for children. If you got the “heebi jeebies” from where the wild things are, i think maybe you should pay a visit to a psychologist. And many children’s movies, besides Bambi, have instances of death. Death is a natural thing that occurs. I would rather a small child see it in the more complacent style of Bambi then a horror movie. They’re going to learn about it one day soon anyways- when a pet or family member dies.
by: anon, Mar 28th at 6:15 pm
Children have to be aware that there are bad things in the world. They have to learn to accept bad things, and know that they happen to everyone in the world, not just themselves. And whether you believe it or not, they CAN learn, they CAN understand. Even if they are young, they aren’t as naive as they make themselves out to be. Children can think as complexly as any other human being. Don’t doubt the power of a child’s mind.
If they can learn it in a way that will appeal to them, why tear it to pieces and write it off as “inappropriate?” The above movies [with a few exceptions including "Kids", "Beetle-juice", and "The Wizard of Oz"] take serious issues and put them in a setting where children WILL pay attention.
Just because the above movies aren’t Care Bears or My Little Pony doesn’t mean that they are inappropriate. They are movies that are meant to be watched by the family, and later used for discussions. Keep that in mind when your child grows up, ignorant to the terrors of the world.
by: Anit, Apr 1st at 10:59 am
Up? Bambi? Ok, there’s a forest fire and Bambi’s mother dies. What about all the happy music and the adorable woodland creatures and the puppy love scenes? So ok, fine, I can even live with Bambi (seriously, Bambi?) on this list since you apparently believe that children have absolutely no tolerance for unpleasantness. But UP? For every one joke that you can give me that appeals to adults, I can give you five that appeal to children. And how you picked any of these movies over things like Hunchback of Notre Dame or Coraline is beyond me (not that I even think either of those movies are that inappropriate for kids). More importantly, “Kids” is not a kids movie. It’s rated R. It’s a kids movie just about as much as Sin City is a kids movie. On a final note, if this list is supposed to be satirical in some way, as one or two of the defending comments have claimed, then A. It’s not written as satire, B. What the heck are you satirizing, and C. It’s not funny. Thanks for playing.
by: Jeremiah, Apr 6th at 11:14 am
Yeah. Stop blogging right now. You’re an idiot. As soon as I read your take on Up I got the feeling you have no idea what “inappropriate” or “kids movie” means.
In your twisted little world, apparently it’s a Very Bad Thing for kids if adults get emotional over a movie. I guess I should never have shown Up to my niece since it definitely struck a chord with me.
by: Yaro Kasear, Apr 11th at 9:19 am
So, what? Kids shouldn’t watch Beauty and the Beast because the bad guy falls off a cliff and dies? Or Alladin because it had a poor “street rat” in it? What about The Lion King or Mulan, which have entire frikken wars? Seriously, are you expecting kids to watch The Little Froggy Takes a Bath until they’re 13? Up was one of the greatest kids movies to come out since the ’90s, and just because it shows life AND death doesn’t mean kids can’t handle it you idiotic sugar-coating whiny helicopter “mother”. Congratulations. Your kids will hate you.
by: A Kid At Heart, May 13th at 5:12 pm