Who can make the most retarded joke

me: knock knock

you: whos there

me: nobody

you: nobody who?

me: ...........

you: nobody who???? (see more)

a woman was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible, he gave a little chuckle and went back to what he was doing. After awhile, he turned to her and asked, "You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you?"

The lady replied, "Of course I do. It is the Bible."

He said, "Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?"

She replied, "Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible."

He asked, "Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?"

The lady said, "Well, I don't really know. I guess when I get to heaven, I will ask him."

"What if he isn't in heaven?" the man asked sarcastically.

"Then you can ask him," replied the lady.
 (see more)

how do u get 99 old ladies to say FUCK?


yell BINGO!!!
hahaha (see more)

What did the Chinese cat say?








Oh, this is good!






Answer: Mao! (see more)

What did the cat say when he hut himself?





Oh, this is good!





Answer: Me, ow! (see more)

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?








Because you tocuh yourself at night! (see more)

you mama so fat... shes NOT skinny!!!!

aaaaaaaaaaahhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! (see more)

ME:I'm fat u are ugly! John, what we gonna do?!

JOHN: Let's go out. (see more)

What did the surprised cat say?





OH, MY, THIS IS GOOD!





Answer: Me wow! (see more)

Why do lions always eat raw meat?

(Because they don't know how to cook.)  (see more)

One Day There Were Three Little Aliens Who Went Down To Earth One Went To Music Classes and learned to say mememememememememeeeee!!!One Went To A Diner
and learned how to say foks and navs foks and navs And last the third alient found a lollipop on the road and learnd to say he stole ma lollipop!!!One Day A Cop Came By and said do you know who killed this man 1 alient said...mememememememememeeeee!!!!Then The Cop Said What did u do it with alien 2 said foks and navs foks and navs foks and navs The Cop Said What Did You Do it with alien 3 said he stole ma lollipop!!!!!!!!! (see more)

The next time your having a bad day just think, at least your not.....

a siamese twin
your brother is gay
he has a date coming over
the date is the man in the relationship
you only have 1 ass (see more)

I'm Fat Your Ugly I Can Diet (see more)

How do you knock a one-legged monkey off a pickle?

Pancakes, because bowling balls don't have feathers.  (see more)

what is a whales favorite sandwich???
Peanut butter and Jelly Fish
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH (see more)

Question: Why?

Answer: I don't know either.
 (see more)

The farmer had these special animals. A brown chicken and a brown cow. Why were they so cool???




Because it's a Brown Chicken Brown Cow! (Its like Bom chicka wah wah.) (see more)