best wedding crashers quote

John Beckwith: Claire's mom just made me grab her hooters.

Jeremy Grey: Well snap out of it! What, a hot older women made you feel her cans? Stop crying like a little girl.

John Beckwith: I wasn't crying like a little girl.

Jeremy Grey: Why don't you try getting jacked off under the table in front of the whole damn family and have some real problems, jackass. Hey, what were they like anyway? They looked pretty good, are they real? Are they built for speed or comfort? What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat?
[makes sputtering motorboat noise]

Jeremy Grey: You motorboatin son of a bitch! You old sailor you! Where is she? She still in the house? (see more)

Gloria Cleary: Don't ever leave me!
Jeremy Grey: Ever.
Gloria Cleary: Good. 'Cause I'd find you!  (see more)

John Beckwith: You look beat. Soft mattress?

Jeremy Grey: Soft mattress? Yeah, it could have been the soft mattress. Or the midnight rape. Or the nude gay art show that took place in my room last night. One of those three probably contributed to the lack of sleep.
 (see more)

I'd like to be cowboys from Arizona or pimps from Oakland but it's not Halloween. Grow up; Peter Pan, Count Chocula.  (see more)

Chaz: MOM!! THE MEATLOAF......FUCK!!!! (see more)

Jeremy Grey: Wow. Mr. Environmental is also a hunter. That's an interesting combination.
Sack Lodge: I hunt quail, Jeremy. They're overpopulated in this region and they're decimating the grubworm population. You got a fucking problem with that?
Jeremy Grey: Not as much as I do with your attire, or just your general point of view toward everybody here. But hey, lets go kill some birds. I'm psyched.




and:


John Beckwith: I know. Why can't we hunt something cool like a hawk or an eagle, something with some talons?
Jeremy Grey: That'd be awesome. We could get something like big game. Even like a gorilla or a rhinoceros or a fucking human being! That'll get you jacked up.
 (see more)

Chazz (Ferrell): Yeah, her boyfriend just died. In a hang-gliding accident! What an idiot! What a loser!
[sarcastically imitating dead boyfriend]
Chazz (Ferrell): “Hey, I’m hang-gliding! Aaaahhh! Take a picture, honey, I’m dead! (see more)

Senator Cleary: Actually the polss show that 98% of america would feel for our situation.
Clearys Son: And whats our situation dad?
Grandma Cleary: You're a homo
Clearys Son: Im going to my room to paint........homo things (see more)

Jeremy: I hope you flip your bike over and knock your two front teeth out, you selfish son of a bitch!! I'm lying here in the trenches takin grenades John! (see more)

Jeremy grey to john beckwith I got a stage 4 clinger on my hands  (see more)