Meanest Insult/comment recieved

Jessica is here? OH!

*walks up to jessica biel*

ohhhh... I though you were alba...


OUCH. (see more)

I had just given birth to my son and was in the hospital parking garage when a teenage kid walks by and goes "jenny craig is calling fatty!" I was appalled and looked at him and said "Jerkoff I just had a kid!" He looks back at me and goes "was it tasty fatty?" (see more)

theres this girl at school i never really liked and one day we got in this argument, it was very stupid actually but when i started walking away she yelled "nobody wants you people here, go back over the border before i call immigration on your ass."  (see more)

On the last day of school in 8th grade i gave my year book to a friend for her to sign. After she finished a guy in my class took it and wrote "Jasmine...Roses are red, Violets are black, why is your chest, as flat is your back?" Its made me so self conscious ever since :/ (see more)

Your fart stinks so bad that George Bush declared it biological warfare! (see more)

In middle school I was a very skinny and very flat chested. One day I got into an argument with a classmate. He was a bit on the hefty side so I made the remark, "That's why you're fat." And he replied by grabbing his chest and saying, "Whose titties are bigger?" (see more)

"No wonder your boyfriend broke up with you." (see more)

You were a failed abortion. (see more)

You're a jerk (see more)

Prof: you! are you fat?!

Me:(out of shock) uhm, no sir!

Prof: yes, you're not fat, and the next excuse that you are giving me is that your bones are just big?

me: (mumble, mumble..) *fag!* (whispering) (see more)

"No problem gaylord!"
Dane Cook quote obviously.
Rudest thing to say to a woman is nice mustace!  (see more)

What sex position makes the ugliest babies?

Ask your mom (see more)

the very day i came home from the war, right there in the airport, thinking people would clap, this lady walked up to me, spit in my face and called me "baby killer." (see more)

you make life seem like a terminal disease (see more)

Said to a friend:
If I were you Id kick my parent's ass for having me!
________________________
Just Plain Mean:
If you left here nobody would miss you, remember you, or care. (see more)

When me and my friend would always make fun of each other walking home from the bus stop everyday. One day we started saying what kindof animals we looked like and i said he looked like a harassed gerbil, and he replied by saying i looked like a monkey on punishment.  (see more)

so some dude was bullinging one of my buddys who just got a new cat and he said to my friend "wow, you sure do love your cat... your a freakin cat mulester!!! hahahaaa" and out of no where i said "well at least he gets pussy... the only action you get is when your dad can't get nothing from your mom" (see more)

I used to wear glasses , and one day this kid asked me why i wore them, and i said because i need them to see. Then he said its because asians have wide vision because their eyes are slanted.  (see more)

I had this one girl for some reason always came at me like she had it out for me. One day me and my friends were talking about first time (this was when i was in high school...long time ago;-) and after i spoke she loudly said "I bet you sounded like a gatorade commercial...asking her every few minutes 'is it in you?" (see more)

this boy in the next class, used to hate the shit out of me for god knows what reason.

Everytime I walked past him he would nudge the person standing next to him and say, "Be careful! Don't slip on the oil from the lard bucket over there." Then he'll look at me and shout, "WATCH FOR THE OIL, oops it's from YOU." Then he'll laugh hysterically.  (see more)