Best Dave Chappelle Quote

Dave: "Pardon me, miss, don't mean to sound rude..
but do you suck balls?"
Miss: "EXCUSE ME!?"
Dave: "Relax, miss, you didn't even let me finish.
Do you suck THESE balls?"
Miss: "OMG, those balls are as smooth as eggs.
Yes, I'll suck them." (see more)

What did the five fingers say to the face? SLAP!!!! (see more)

"Then Jasper said "Look here, nigger, if anyone's gonna have sex with my sister, it's gonna be *me*."
 (see more)

dont trust me ive done commercials for coke AND pepsi!!!!

want the truth- they taste the same....pepsi were the last to pay me sooooo tastes better (see more)

"Keep fucking with these humans if you want to, MORE MONKEY PUSSY FOR ME!!! (see more)

take me to your special place, close your eyes show me your face.....

i'm gonna piss on it. (see more)

"oh, billy, miracles do come true. dave chappelle came and saw you in the hospital, and WHIPPED YOUR MONKEY ASS in some street hoops!" (see more)

Nigga what the fuck is juice?! (see more)

just cuz i eat chicken and watermelon they think there is something wrong with me...
let me tell ya something if you don't like chicken and watermelon something is wrong with you something is wrong with you...
where are all these people who don't like chicken and watermelon  (see more)

*gasp!* oh my god that nigger was on PCP, Johnson, I had to use necessary force. You saw him. No, no paperwork, just sprinkle some crack on him and get out of here. (see more)

I'm Rick James BITCH!!! (see more)

FUCK YO COUCH (see more)

"Why don't you click your heels three times and go back to Africa." (see more)

Bob Saget:Marijuana? That's not a drug, I used to suck dick for coke! Have you ever done that?
Dave Chapelle: No, I don't believe I have.... (see more)

Im Rick James bitch!!!! (see more)

I can't stop yelling, 'cause that's how I talk! Haven't you seen my movies? "Juice" That was a good one! "Deep Blue Sea" They ate me! A motherfucking shark ate me! Drink up, bitch!  (see more)

Im RICH BIEACH. (see more)

Cocaine is ahellofa drug! (see more)

im rick james bitch

 (see more)

Grapes? .... bitches (see more)