worst excuse to call in sick at work

annoying boss: why are you not in today?

you: because your wife was feeling lonely. (see more)

My wife/Mum says I can't come into work today because I haave a lot of chores to do around the house.
 (see more)

I can't come to work today. I took viagra last night and woke up and still have an erection... so I'm gonna head to the hospital. (see more)

i cant go in cause ninjas came outta no where and took my car. (see more)

uhh well see, I have arthritis and I don't want anyone to catch it.
so i'll be out for today.... (see more)

*crying*- i cant come in to work!!
boss:why?
me:I BROKE A NAIL!!  (see more)

Sorry boss, I have explosive diarrhea (see more)

i found out i was adopted!!! haha =p (see more)

sorry i cant come in to work today i have some socks that just have to be folded or else ill die so see ya tomorrow! (see more)

"I, er, have to go audition for American Idol... you know Simon..." (see more)

"i got in a really big fight with my boyfriend last night. My heart is hurting like crazy and it's killing me. aargghg!" (see more)

my kitten died (see more)

You: Hey, Uhm Boss...(Hurrying Voice)

Boss: Whats the problem?

You: Well...(Nervous) Im going to be late for work today.

Boss: I need a reason-

You: Uhmm. I forgot to...wash?....My....pants.

Boss: Um? Well as long as your here for atleast an hour.

You: Wait, Sorry Im not gonna be there at all.

Boss: Why is that? (Angry)

You: Uhm, ITS BECAUSE i ATE PiE.

.BEEP. (see more)

"I cant come to work today"
"and y is that"

"umm, well, u see
a dog humped my car

and then, err, well, it exploded"

"the dog or the car?"

"im not sure, it think it wuz the car" (see more)

excuse me i cannot come to work today because i have been in a terrible accident and am now a vegetable, i'll see ya tomorrow  (see more)

Boss: Hey your not here whats going on?

You; Uh... yea about that... um... yea lemme call you back... (gun shots) my dog just killed himself... (see more)

boss: why aren't you at work?

me: cuz....i lost my voice.
(oh shit) (see more)

because im gettin some from ur mom (see more)

i can't come into work today because i don't like you or any of my colleagues anyways have a nice day and see yeah tomorrow lol (see more)

CUZ I WOKE UP LATE (see more)