worst thing to say to a cop

Well officer i had my crack in my lap and when i bent down to pick it up my gun fell down and lodged into the break so in turn i was not able to stop............ and by the way do u pigs become cops because you flunked out of Mcdonalds training camp? (see more)

I was speeding, officer, because this cocaine needs to be delivered by noon (see more)

I liked it much better when your wife frisked me....you gonna try to cuff me now? Bet you can't do that as good as she does either. (see more)

1.Hey, you must've been doing' at least 125mph to keep up with me! Good job!


2.Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.


3.I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer.

4.You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.


5. "Bad Cop! No Donut!"

6. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on "COPS" last week on TV?

7. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around, that's how far I am behind the other cars.

8.Gee, officer! That's terrific. The police officer yesterday only gave me a warning too!

9.Hey is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.

10.Aren't you the guy from the Village People? (see more)

So can i keep my weed? (see more)

Officer: Do you know why I`m standing here?

You: Because you got all C's in high school? (see more)

cop:do you know why i pulled you over?

man:no.

cop:you were swerving a bit on the road. "looks at man" have you been drinking?

man:yes 6 martinis.

cop:wait here please.

man: hey uh can i ask you a question?

cop: sure.

man:Are you....uh "looks at officers badge"are you jewish? (see more)

Whatever "officer", just dont look in the trunk. (see more)

Is it rape if you say SURPRISE first? (see more)

Just hold my beer wile I look for my licence.  (see more)

Driver: I'll sleep with you...

Officer: I'm gay; Now would you please get out of the car Ma'am. (see more)

Cop: Why are you speeding?


Me: Your mom told me to last night (see more)

Officer: Do you know how fast you were going?

Man: Isn't that your job?

Officer: Yes but..

Man: OCIFFER! I swear to (burp) ugh... drunk that I'm not god! (see more)

"You are going to do what every cop does....nothing" Didn't go over well (see more)

*Officer pulls over car*

Officer: Do you know-
Man: What seems to be the officer problem?

Officer: Have you been drinking tonight sir?

Man: Ociffer, I swear to drunk I am not God.

Officer: Come with me sir.

Man: I have been not drinking! (see more)

COP: Have you been drinking tonight?

ME: No(bruurp)

COP: Well your eyes look a little red

ME: Have you been eating donuts? your eyes look a little glazed (see more)

I'm really really hungry... by the way, would you kindly buy me some visine, oh and some taco bell.. a lighter... pipe cleaner, and blunt wraps.. OH and HIT THIS!!! (see more)

hey porky.. go eat a donut. (see more)

Do you smell bacon? (see more)

Cop: Do you know why i pull you over?

Me: Yea i know why, Because of my Jelly Dounts?? (see more)