No Chimney for Santa

A little known fact about Santa Claus is that, far from the jolly old gift-giver of recent invention, he is actually a mythical master criminal who has been at the helm of an international crime syndicate.

When Santa actually does 'visit' your house, he doesn't actually clime down the chimney. He uses his massive girth in your typical 'smash and grab' job.

Originally, Santa was feared by all people - and December 25th was a time of great consternation. Then, the machinations of a well-orchestrated PR campaign sold the world on his 'benevolence'. The campaign was so successful, it actually convinced children to wish for his arrival!

Furthering the charade even more, much like Keyser Soze, the greatest trick Santa ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.

He does. This Christmas Eve, it might be your house that he hits in his characteristic, 'home invasion'...

Be wary, world... (see more)

The Santa at my work has this giant key he wears around his neck. And when kids ask what the key is for..he tells them that when they don't have a chimney in their house..he uses the key to go through the front door!
And he says the key works on every house, so that way he can bring every kid their present by Christmas! =] (see more)

This question is irrelevant. Santa doesn't exist. Fact. (see more)

I think santa gets in by disguising himself as the friend, or a family neighbor, then just sneeks in at the front door! (see more)

Santa's magic. Honestly do you really think he could fit down the chimney without magic? If you don't have a fire place he will just touch his nose and be inaide the house his sleigh is on top of. (see more)

santa takes a jackhammer and smash's through your wall (taking the care to not make too much noise) he will then do all his tasks and then build your wall back up again before leaving (see more)

when you dont have a fireplace santa breaks your window and sneaks in xD (see more)

He just walks up to your door and kicks it down.
BAM!
Hes in (see more)

If you have a chimney he goes down but if you don't:
- he just snaps his fingers and is magically transported inside your house.
- Lots of houses don't have fireplaces. That's why Santa has a special key. (see more)

we have a magic key we hang up on the door and he gets in (see more)