Funny/Idiotic Ex Stories

Said that he couldn't pay for me anymore b/c he used all of it on POT and PLAYDOUGH.
SERiously? What a dope... (see more)

he has his mom buy all of his underwear (he's 27) (see more)

Near the end of our relationship, I bought a new car and the ex really wanted to drive it. After I got tired saying no… I finally gave in. I said no because she had been driving for 4 years and had 5 wrecks in that time span.

I hoe in the passenger seat. She hops behind the wheel. Although getting behind the wheel of a car may seem like a simple exercise for a normal person, she couldn’t seem to do it with out “dropping the keys.” She dropped them on the outside of the car. This is a crucial point in the story so pay attention. The keys were on the outside of the car. She leans out to pick up the keys and in doing so decides she will save time if she closes the car door at the same time. Remember… she is leaning outside of the car because that is where the keys are.

Needless to say there is a loud slamming sound in. She has closed the door on her HEAD. It didn’t close all the way of course, but it was enough to knock her out. She rolls back over on to the middle console unconscious with a (see more)

I had my ex keeping some totally coll t-shirts of mine and she wouldn't return them after we broke up... (see more)

She's getting married in 2 months and still calls me to see If there's still a chance. (see more)

He keeps calling me and bugging me to pay for a ticket that he got in MY car. #1 It's been 4 years, #2 He's a cop (see more)

I'm pretty smart, when I got my report card, my bf said "what? but asians never get 4.0s!"
nope, hes just never seen one (see more)

while we were going out and even after we broke up, whenever he sees one of my pretty friends, he'll say HOOK ME UP WITH HERR!
then I say BUT SHE HAS A BF!
then he ALWAYS says WHAT HER BOYFRIEND GOTTA DO WITH ME??...

soo annoying (see more)

stole all the skirts in my closet!!!
(cause girls with skirts call OTHER boys attention u know...) twat (see more)