Adding insult to injury

Well there was a time I had to go to the hospital for getting a STD. Here's the scenerio....
Me: I need help to get rid of this STD, doc?
Doc: Well tell me first how did you get it?
Me: Well to be honest, I slept with a hooker?
Doc: WOW!
Me: What?
Doc: It could've been worse, she could've peeled the skin off your p***s.
Me: Not for what I paid! (see more)

Scenario:I'm in my house and my friend just fell off my roof trying to fix my house.

(I go outside.)

Me: You ok?

Friend: No

Me: Is your head broken?

Friend: I think so.

Me: Let me kick your leg to help you loosen the pain in your head.

(I kick his leg.)

Friend: My leg is broken too you stupid moron! (see more)

I was playing football and my friend got tackled really hard. He was still on the ground and I went up to him.
Me: You ok?
Friend: Yea
So I kicked his side really hard.
Me: How about now?
Friend: (Gasping for air) NO!
Me: Good
(He was on the other team). (see more)

my friend fell on a rock and got hurt really bad, we pick him up and said "you could have fell on the sharp stick" (see more)

Ok, so my friend has broken his leg, he's in hospital healing, I go visit him, and we talk for a bit and I say "It could be worse" and he'd "Been worse? It could've been f***in better". (see more)

So my friend is about to get married and she ends up leaving him a week before it happens. She is also pregnant....

My buddy: dam this sucks. What am I going to do now??

ME: its alright don't even worry about it. At least that baby wasn"t yours...

My Buddy: Wait... WHAT!?!?!?! IT'S NOT!?!?!?! (see more)