best super hero story (random)

with fake acknowledgement...then, before jethro could react, tosto aptly lunged toward the box and opened it. The piece of bacon from last christmas was plainly in view.tosto stared at jethro for what what must've been ten microseconds. In a blinding moment of misguided bravado, jethro groped indiscriminately in tosto's direction, clearly desperate. tosto grabbed the piece of bacon from last christmas and bolted for the door. It was locked. jethro let out a electric chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, tosto,' he rebuked. jethro always had been a little selfish, so tosto knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before jethro did something crazy, like... start chucking wolverines at him or something. A few freaknasty minutes later, he gripped his piece of bacon from last christmas tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels. jethro looked on, blankly.What the hey? (see more)

That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from tosto. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame eight days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for tosto. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. jethro walked over to the window and looked down. tosto was gone. Just yonder, tosto was struggling to make his way through the swamp behind jethro's place. tosto had severely hurt his double chin during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral mules suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the piece of bacon from last christmas. One by one they latched on to tosto. Already weakened from his injury, tosto yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of mules running off with his piece of bacon from last christmas.But then God came down with His ingenious smile and restored tosto's piece of bacon from last christmas.
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Feeling concerned, God smote the mules for their injustice. Then He got in His pimp fresh, candy-painted 'Lac and blasted away with the fortitude of 1.2 billion South American hissing sloths running from a oversized pack of disease-carrying chipmunks. tosto tripped with joy when he saw this. His piece of bacon from last christmas was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in eleven minutes his favorite TV show, the bill engvall show, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When Indonesian devil cats meet rusty razor blade'). tosto was jubilant. And so, everyone except jethro and a few bloody glove-toting disease-carrying chipmunks lived blissfully happy, forever after.

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It all started when our antagonizing protagonist, tosto, woke up in a foxy forest. It was the fifth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly displeased, tosto backhanded a gerbil, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved piece of bacon from last christmas was missing! Immediately he called his favorite Mormon, jethro. tosto had known jethro for (plus or minus) half a million years, the majority of which were enticing ones. jethro was unique. He was charismatic though sometimes a little... oafish. tosto called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.jethro picked up to a very nervous tosto. jethro calmly assured him that most spotted wolf hamsters grimace before mating, yet spotted wolf hamsters usually scandalously belch *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting tosto. Why was jethro trying to distract tosto? Because he had snuck out from tosto's with the piece of bacon from last  (see more)

christmas only eight days prior. It was a curious little piece of bacon from last christmas... how could he resist?It didn't take long before tosto got back to the subject at hand: his piece of bacon from last christmas. jethro panicked. Relunctantly, jethro invited him over, assuring him they'd find the piece of bacon from last christmas. tosto grabbed his rhinocerus and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, jethro realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the piece of bacon from last christmas and he had to do it carefully. He figured that if tosto took the spaceship, he had take at least nine minutes before tosto would get there. But if he took the chuckwagon? Then jethro would be abnormally screwed.Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, jethro was interrupted by five abrasive mules that were lured by his piece of bacon from last christmas. jethro turned red; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling frustrated, he carefully reached for (see more)

his ripened avocado and thoughtfully punched every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the lemur-infested moor, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the chuckwagon rolling up. It was tosto.As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Seven-Eleven to pick up a 12-pack of wolverines, so he knew he was running late. With a apt leap, tosto was out of the chuckwagon and went exotically jaunting toward jethro's front door. Meanwhile inside, jethro was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the piece of bacon from last christmas into a box of wolverines and then slid the box behind his hippopotamus. jethro was exasperated but at least the piece of bacon from last christmas was concealed. The doorbell rang.Come in,' jethro scandalously purred. With a quick push, tosto opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by som (see more)

annoying genocidal maniac in a neighborhood-terrorizing crotch rocket,' he lied. 'It's fine,' jethro assured him. tosto took a seat ridiculously far from where jethro had hidden the piece of bacon from last christmas. jethro yawned trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But tosto was distracted. Heart filled with earnest fortitude, jethro noticed a funny-smelling look on tosto's face. tosto slowly opened his mouth to speak.What's that smell?'jethro felt a stabbing pain in his ear when tosto asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the piece of bacon from last christmas right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A stupid look started to form on tosto's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's dull pencils from when she used to have pet long-haired sea monkeys. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. tosto nodded (see more)