Best late to class or work excuse

My dad beats me every now and then...today he used the bat. So i had to crawl to class. (see more)

sorry i'm late. My dad gave me a note to give to you, and i was so curious i opened to read it and it said " i had fun last night, you left your panties at my place" and after i read that i passed out. (see more)

well sorry im late Mr, Chokezondick! but i was in the doctors office and my doctor, Dr. Mike Hunt, and nurse, Nurse Allota Fagina, told me while i was standing next to my cousins, Ben Dover, Anita Dick, and Johnizza Faghit, when i was told i was pregnant! i cried for about two hours then i remembered oh! lol im a dude! hahaha then i took a nap then came to work! (see more)

just when she asks you about the asignment just look at her like she accused you of something then scream YOU AINT GOT NOTHING ON ME!!! and then take a random piece of paper and eat it... then laugh out loud like youve won something... bet she wont ask you again :P  (see more)

Im sorry I am late, i was argueing with a student who said you arnt the best teacher ever. (see more)

sorry i was to busy on i beat u dot com making an excuse (see more)

my dog ate my car so i had to walk but i broke my legs so i tryed to use a wheelchair but i rolled down a hill and than a cop pulled me over and thats why i am late (see more)

Im Not Late,Im Just Early For Tomorrow.

LOL!! (see more)

My hamster ate my homework, my snake ate my hamster, my cat ate my snake and my dog killed my cat. so i am sorry M. watever, but my homework has been digested several times. (see more)

I was so into the assignment that while I was writing so fast the paper burst into flames. My hands were burnt by the fire and now because of Post tramadic Stress Disorder I can no longer pic up a pencil to finish this assignment. I think a teacher of your stature would understand my problem... (see more)

the thing is miss

ur daughter kept me up

HAHAHAHA
i got pwnd 4 that (see more)

i was on ibeatyou.com, looking for a good late to class/work excuse to tell you.  (see more)

Because I walked past the window of class and I was so shocked by how big you are today that I ran away as fast as I could. then, during this chaos i left my homework somewhere...and then the police saw me becoz I was running so fast they though I had stolen something and then I told them what had happened and they laughed their heads off and then I had to take them to hospital to give them new heads and then the hospital people blamed it on me. I had to convince them that it wasnt me. so thats why I am late and I dont have my homework. (see more)

Eh... Mr.Williams IM SO SORRY IM 50 min late for class.... umm... THe reason i was late is cuz THE SCHOOL IS WAY TOO BIG I GOT LOSTT D: ITS TOO LARGE FOR MY MIND TO COMPREHEND D: (see more)

(me to teacher) I'm sorry but yesterday i got an email on facebook saying it was international kids day and it was a school holiday...how long has it been since u checked ur facebook? (see more)

okay this is what happened. I was doing my homework while using the toilet and I was almost done taking a dump, until suddenly I realize I ran out of toilet paper..... Desperate to find something to wipe my tushy. I grabbed my homework, reached down, and rubbed it unitl it was nice and clean. BOY it felt better than I thought it would have felt and that is why I don't have my homework today. Unless your still willing to collect my assigment today?  (see more)

In our school, we are required to get a tardy slip if we're late in the administration office so me and a good friend of mine were late so we had to get a slip. The administrator asked my friend why he was late and he said: "Ma'am, there's no water in our place." I was like laughing when he said that but then the adminstrator was like.."Okay". haha. I think he was excused! hahaha! (see more)

my grandma had a stroke and died today was the funeral it lasted like five hours! (see more)

my dad was beating my brother using my shoes! lol (see more)

i was at a rally for higher teacher pay yesterday. (see more)