Best Date Excuse

Hey there, sorry I have to cancel our date, I found out that my sex change operation has been bought forward and I have to rest up before the big day, what? You didn't know I was becoming a man tomorrow? Hopefully that would get rid of them! (see more)

me- "i know we just met and all, and haven't even been out on a date, but i really think we might be soul mates here. so i was thinking for our first date we could go scouting out locations for our wedding."

him- "this beyotch is nuts, i think i'm gonna have to cancel our date, it was real nice talkin to ya, um, have a nice life."

see, this way, they have to cancel out and you're not stuck with a guilty conscience. (see more)

the doctor just called me and said i needed a Colonoscopy and i needed it now (see more)

Me: Hey how you? about the dinner and movie tonight.. uh, i can't make it..

it's obvious that our relationship is affecting the amount of time I get to spend with my internet girlfriend.. ur just so selfish sometimes! sorry but ur just going to have find something else to do.


p.s.. u could always make an account like i told you to! although (add internet girls name here) won't be too impressed.. on second thoughts.. dont bother!

 (see more)

"Sorry, cant make it tonight".

"Why?"

"Because.... Im in love with a stripper~". (see more)

NO...





Have you seen me??? (see more)

Hi. I'm gonna need to cancel our date tonight. All of my cages are full and I really don't want you to get away. Maybe next week? (see more)

uh i dont think i can make cuz i jus found out i gota babysit my great great great grandmother!!! sry bye!!! (see more)

heyyy im so excited for the date tonight but did i tell u im bisexual

he says;nothing jus hangs up the fone nd never calls bak (see more)

"Sorry, I have horrible cramps today"... nuff said... lady business makes most guys uncomfortable... (see more)

Sorry we cant go out tonight, I need to go to the hospital and have my ovaries removed... I know... Its all very sudden yes... I might not make it so if you dont hear from me again Im probably dead... (see more)

i have two personalities, and neither of them wants to go on a date with you (see more)

Sorry, I can't go out with you, I'm saving myself for Katherine Heigl.
 (see more)

I have to go to the doctors, it stings when I pee.  (see more)

Um..yea date? You dont mind if i bring my dog do ya? he gets lonely, his name is fuzz balls (see more)

Hey hun, how about we postphone the date for sunday?
I'm just a little pregnant at the moment, but I should'nt have mood swings after I get my pills. (see more)

Sorry but im moving to south africa and you know how long relationships do not work... (see more)

Ughh I'm sorry babe, but my throat is all messed up from those damn edamame shells... (see more)

say you cant go cause you are pleasuring yourself to another girls picture(someone she knows) (see more)

i would go... I really would... but i just found out that i have really bad gas and i don't want you to experience any part of that. (see more)