Give Me The Punchline

Why is Dracula so unpopular?
Punchline: He's a pain in the neck.
If you are American outside of the bathroom what are you when you are inside the bathroom?
Punchline: European. (You are peeing)
 (see more)

why did the monkey fall out of the tree???

- because he was dead lmao (proud family ahha)

what kind of witch tasted good

-sandwich ahaha

omg -.- (see more)

So this chick- she gets liposuction on her butt. One day- she's not feeling to good....so she goes to the doctors office and says

I FEEL CRAPPY haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

my teacher said this during class, he didn't know he made a joke, but I got so used to laughing at my dad when he makes those kinds of jokes- i burst out laughing----everyone looked at me funny (see more)

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"  (see more)