Best SuperBad quote

"What do you mean? ...We don't do everything together! ...Well I gotta go take a piss... so come on ...My dicks not gonna shake itself" (see more)

You know what I do? I flip my boner up into my waistband. It hinds it AND it feels awesome. I almost blew a load into my bellybutton. (see more)

You scratch my back and i'll scratch yours.

"Funny thing about my back is that it's located on my C**k" (see more)

I was very secretive about this whole dick operation i had going on... (see more)

Seth: I know, but look at Evan. Just look at him.

Seth: I'm over here in my unit, isolated and alone, eating my terrible tasting food, and I have to look over at that. That looks like the most fun I've ever seen in my entire life, and it's B.S. - excuse my language. I'm just saying that I wash and dry; I'm like a single mother. Look, we all know home-ec is a joke - no offense - it's just that everyone takes this class to get an A, and it's bullshit - and I'm sorry. I'm not putting down your profession, but it's just the way I feel. I don't want to sit here, all by myself, cooking this shitty food - no offense - and I just think that I don't need to cook tiramisu. Am I going to be a chef? No. There's three weeks left of school, give me a fuckin' break! I'm sorry for cursing.
 (see more)

Officer Michaels: McLovin?
Fogell: Yeah.

Officer Michaels: Great name.

Officer Slater: It is, it just rolls of the tongue.

Officer Michaels: 'Sounds like a sexy hamburger!
 (see more)

Lube?! It's not like she's gonna say" Oh Evan thank you for bringing spermicidal lube for my pussy! I couldn't have handled ur 4 inch dick witout it!" (see more)

Cop: Spread your sh*t. P***ies on the pavement fellas. Come on!


Evan: please don't shoot sir


Cop: "please don't shoot" just shut up and spread your sh*t. I AM the law, ok!Now hold hands. (see more)

"McLovin? Thats badass" (see more)

Fogell: Yeah. It was between that or Muhammed.
Seth: Why the F**K would it be between THAT or Muhammed? Why don't you just pick a common name like a normal person?
Fogell: Muhammed is the most commonly used name on Earth. Read a f***ing book for once.
Evan: Fogell, have you actually ever met anyone named Muhammed?
Fogell: Have YOU actually ever met anyone named McLovin?
Seth: No, that's why you picked a dumb f***ing name!  (see more)

Seth: [referring to Evan's mother] I am truly jealous you got to suck on those tits when you were a baby.
Evan: Yeah, well, at least you got to suck on your dad's dick.  (see more)

When the 2 police break up the house party:

Officer Michaels: I'm assuming you all have guns and crack! (see more)

Evan: Those pants are way too tight...wayyy too tight

Seth: Yeah but chicks can see the borders and outline of my dick a little

Evan: Yeah man, they go nuts for that...male camel toe (see more)

Becca: Your cock is so smooth!
Evan: Your's would be too... if you were a man. (see more)

Officer Slater: Was he African?


Liquor Store Clerk: Was he African? No, he was American. And he was like you. He looked just like you.


Officer Michaels: He was Jewish! An odd crime for a Jew to commit. Ok, so we have an African Jew wearing a hoodie...  (see more)

Seth: "She wants to f**k me. She wants my dick, in or around her mouth." (see more)

Seth: "By the end of summer I will be the iron chef of punding vag!! (see more)

shes gonna come up to you and say im making a pube salad and i want Seths Own dressing (see more)

Fuck it, I'm About To Graduate, They Should Be Sucking On My Ball Sack (see more)

Evan: McLovin? What kind of a stupid name is that, Fogell? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer? (see more)