Strangest thing that you heard from a teacher!

During Sex Ed, a male teacher walked into our classroom. He then turned to all the guys in the class and said, "Here's a tip: Don't put deodorant on your genitals. It BURNS." (see more)

friend1 : Miss, do you wax or shave down there? *laughs

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teacher: *sarcastically* nonee, i just leave it to grow like a jungle. with little men living in there, swinging off hair vines.

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friend1 : *shuts up. (see more)

Okay guys, I know it's really tempting to talk about b*tches covered in margarine, but I don't think we're allowed. (see more)

he was talking about using straws in a restaurant and how he thinks its for babies, you know, the urge to suck on a nipple. anyways, he said
"if you're gonna give me a straw, you might as well give me the whole boob!" (see more)

so you exercise? does exercising actually work?

- i was like. eeer? you're the teacher here. (see more)

My math/English teacther is a 54-year old woman. We were talking bout sex before marrige.

Math-teacher: I think making love is a lovely thing, and I enjoy it very much!

Me: Eew, youre my math teacher, youre not supposed to say that ! (see more)

so, my lit. teacher saw that i was using cliffnotes in class one day, so she told me: "i don't mind you using cliffnotes, but i want to tell you something that my college professor told me about them. He said, 'Using CliffNotes is like prostitution, you're cheating yourself with the real deal.'."

lol, i almost died laughing! (see more)

Our history teacher once said that if we would listen to Heavy Metal music, we would go to hell.
Thing is: we were 14 at that time and she honestly wanted to convince us.. (see more)

my teacher brings her iPod to school sometimes and plays it out loud while we work.

one day our principal came into our classroom while soulja boy was playing and a few of us had gotten up to do the dance!

when our teacher saw the principal in her classroom, she said "aww shit!" but then she covered her mouth and said, "did i just say that out loud?!?!" (see more)

I will meet you in HELL! She started screaming at us while in class! The class was silent and just kept on looking at her for the next 2 mins :D (see more)

OMG! You are not going to believe this: we had this mad science teacher in 9th grade who hated our 3rd block period class. She made us up a batch of chocolate cupcakes with mini milkway candies on top for class (I did not eat it because I am smarter than that, I wrapped mine up in a couple tissues in my bag and took mine home and had my dad examine it). The icing was laced with urine and she had urinated in the icing, I knew it because it smelled "pissy". I told all my friends in my 4th block class to smell it and they agreed it was pissy, so I am glad I did not eat it. My dad came in and explained that it ad tested positive for urine at the hospital lab. She ended up getting fired & court! Luckily nobody got sick. But what was so bad about it was she had theh nerve to bake cupcakes for the class she hated the most and not the other classes and said (while passing them out) "I made these cupcakes especially for you all out of the kindness of my heart"! Gross....glad that sicko got fi (see more)

Okay in grade eight we were all doing a test in my class and the phone was ringing off the hook. Finally my teacher sat down and started marking papers, but then the phone rang again and he said:

Shut the fuck up before I rip your balls out through your throat!

We all pissed ourselves laughing! (see more)

my english teacher was talking about how he went to his grandma's house and he told her to pass the fucking butter then he also said how his grandma slapped him after he said that... (see more)

Back in Second grade (I was the class clown) Our teacher (BIG lady) Busted out the longest and loudest/strangest sounding fart! She told no one to laugh... I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF!!! and started the whole class to laugh at her! (2nd graders were cruel) HAHAHA SHE PUT ME ON TIME OUT IN THE CORNER OF THE ROOM! (see more)

*happy voice*Now boys and girls the last thing you want to do is piss off your teacher (see more)

Teacher told us how he got a visectomy and how his balls hurt. (see more)

my teacher was talking to us about symbolism and was comparing everything to dicks and vaginas. (see more)

my economics teacher always tell us "EJACULATE YOUR MIND AND MASTURBATE YOUR HEAD"

thats what he always tells us whenever we have a long QUIZ or TEST hehe well its true.  (see more)

my math teacher.. he was a creep. and he told me.. that in the past guys wanted girls who were younger and such. and that girls would strap down their curves or breasts r watnot to appear younger.. so his conclusion was.. when ppl say all guys are into breats.. its not really true.......
just randomly thot he'd mention this to me one day (see more)

we had a teacher called mr head. he was tall, had a massive beard and glasses. whenever the class was noisy he would say 'hush...'
he taught me in year 8, and was always nice to me.
then he taught me again a few years later and the first thing he said to me was "hows your mum?" (see more)