True Stories, Told In One Sentence

I fell IN LOVE with my boyfriend Swiftpanhandler through, get this, an IBY VIDEO of him DANCING toTECHNO and EATING FRIED CHICKEN. Thank you IBY. :3 (see more)

Just as I was about to tell my eight-year-old sister the truth about Santa Claus, she said she was going to ask him to end the war in Iraq.

 (see more)

once upon a time, you were there and i kinda loved you. (see more)

Your life isn't a garden. Stop being a hoe. (see more)

i once ran as fast as i could towards a bus stop, tripped over a raised piece of concrete and broke a tooth and missed the bus anyways. (see more)

I just realize that I'm getting fat :( (see more)

I was jay walking yesterday when an officer whistled at me, i thought he was going to throw me to jail instead he told me he called my attention to ask for my number.  (see more)

One time I thought I heard the radio signal cutting in through my computer speakers, so i turned them up on bust and put my head next to it and I DID hear the radio... but then someone signed on to msn. (see more)

I walked out the front door and turned to see my 3 year old son running to his toy chest unable to comprehend that I was going to war for six months. (see more)

Death is often untimely, but especially so after only 18 years; still, it is enough time to leave one's mark, though only just. (see more)

Yesterday the mailman came to my house, he then said "Hello son". (see more)

I lived through 7 hours without electricity and learned how to make my coffee with a lighter !!! (see more)

I drank so much I had to hold onto the grass to keep from falling off the Earth. (see more)

My mom called me up on the homephone the other day, to ask me where I was. : ) (see more)

When 15 I crapped in the woods and some boys set it on fire which caused the woods to set on fire, which caused the cops and firemen to come, and they questioned me and then I was called Hot Pooper for the rest of the summer.


(By the way, my English Prof. agrees that this is a sentence.) (see more)

One time I saw the "little people big world" lady but she was rejecting everyone who talked to her so i stalked her until I could sneak in a pic. (see more)

I got so drunk last weekend, I had a picture of the Mystery Machine on my phone and I don't remember taking it. (see more)

This competition is going to last a loooooong time. (see more)

I was pretty young when I pooped and told my mom thats what I wanted to be when I grew up.  (see more)

My life is a rollercoaster and I ride it with my hands up all the way (see more)