Whats the best excuse on being LATE for class

ummm... teacher I was in the bathroom and someone peed on me(laughs from back) (see more)

I Got my period... (see more)

i'm going to school to become an auto tech engineer, so car problems always get me out. something along the lines of, "i have an intermittent problem with an open on my ckp sensor circuit, my car stalls at idle. I plugged a scanner to it and got a code 4-1. My car runs at 21 Hg. of vaccum, but when i snap the throttle it hits zero, so i adjusted valve clearance. that didn't work. when my MIL light went on, i retarded the timing. then after a few miles my car stalled again but wouldn't crank." then the teacher says, "ok, no prob, bring it into lab and we'll check it out." then I tell my instructor, "oh I can't, my dog ate my car." (see more)

ok so me, my dad, my mom, and my two brothers were driving through the getto last night, when there was a gun shot. my dad, my bros and i are used to it so we ducked down. but poor mom said " Hey look there are fireworks goin on. so she puts her head out of the window, and BAM!. so i was at her funeral today and just got back. (see more)

i hate your class so much that i decided to skip the first minutes (see more)

Teacher:"why are you late?"
"ahh well cuz my dad was punishing my brother"
Teacher:"what does that have to do with you?"
"he was beating him with my shoes" (see more)

Sorry I was late, but there was this raccoon that was following me where ever I went, so I had to ditch it. I couldn't come here until it was gone. It would have killed everyone in here. I was thinking of your safety. (see more)

i was late because a fat teacher was blocking the stairs( this IS true) lol (see more)

rosie o'donald wouldn't stop trying to tell me a funny joke (it didnt work) (see more)

it was traffic (but everybody knows that you just live 50 meters away school.) (see more)

Well i was "running" down the hall then a cop pulled me over, saying i was over 5 mph over the speed limit. then he gave me a ticket. (see more)

Well i really did wanna come to P.E. ontime but right before I got here i realized I had no underwear on..... (see more)

I'm a diabetic patient and i had to inject myself insulin.
I said that as long as I showed the teacher a chocolate bar! (see more)

I watched Superman last night. He reversed the rotation of the Earth and shifted time backwards so I figured I had at least another couple hours to get to school. So I'm actually early.... (see more)

Got chased by a poodle, fell in a hole, got buried under cement, and missed algebra. (see more)

I'm late because I saw a fish drowning so I Tried to teach him to walk. (see more)

I was having sex with my boyfriend. (see more)

I was late because I din't want to come to school and see your ugly face, but my parents made me come. :( (see more)

Well Mr. Teacher, guy, sir... um.... I'm acually not late... you're just early.... did you forget to move the clock one hour further? (see more)

student: sorry i'm late mam...

professor: and why are you late this time?

student: (while tying a bandage in right wrist) i had to beat my brother up. He wouldn't stop asking questions.. is that all mam?

professor:(trembling) please take your seat.. (x_x) (see more)