Weirdest Christmas Song Lyrics

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses
I only like hippopotamuses
And hippopotamuses like me too
Mom says the hippo would eat me up, but then
Teacher says a hippo is a vegeterian
 (see more)

She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog/ And we'd begged her not to go/ But she'd left her medication/ So she stumbled out the door into the snow/ When they found her Christmas mornin'/ At the scene of the attack/ There were hoof prints on her forehead/ And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back (see more)

To The Tune Of “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”)

Oh you better not shout,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm tellin' you why;

Daddy's home and I think he's drunk.

He's walkin' real slow,
He slurs when he speaks,
I don't even think
He’s shaved in two weeks,

Daddy's home and boy is he drunk.

He spent most of our money
On Johnny Walker Black
And then he took all of the rest
And lost it at the track.

Sooo.... You better not pout,
You better not cry,
I don't like that look in his eye,
Daddy's home and I think he's...
Daddy's home and boy is he...

Daddy's home and he's really dru (see more)

You're a bum
You're a punk
You're an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy Christmas your arse
I pray God it's our last

 (see more)

ho ho ho im a hoe i smell like ricotta cheese i wont deliver presents cuz im busy in bed ho ho ho im a hoe and i love eggnog w00t uh duh duh duh duh who cares the snow is done well it will be soon my raindeers are broken .....wait .....ive neva fed them i love cheese burger i love eggnog but yet u smell like ricotta cheese YEAH....go santa its your birthday ohh ohh  (see more)

i want iby for christmas.

not any internet will do.

my sister is a pervert.

my chips are almost dead.

my mother says that others will kill me again.
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you know how the song goes so heres the list
1.finding a christmas tree
2.Putting up the lights
3.Hangovers
4.Sending Christmas cards
5.5 months of bills
6.Relatives
7.Charities
8.Little Brats crying at the mall
9.No parking
10.Batteries not included
11.stale TV specials
12.singing christmas carols (see more)