Worst Flirting Fail

once i saw this hot chick and i started to flirt with her. she flirted back and i was thinking to my self, like cool she likes me. like 10 minutes into flirting this kinda big guy comes up to me and the girl and say why you talking to my girl.. THE END (see more)

This is going to be hard for some of you to believe, but one night I got wasted at a bar.

I'm not talking a 'little buzzed.' I'm talking near comatose, blackout self-defilement.

Somehow, I ingratiated myself with a group of girls. One of them announced that she was from New York.

At the time, this was groundbreaking news to me (remember, I was barely capable of remaining upright!) It was as if she had told me she just stepped off the E.T. mothership! I couldn't have been more impressed!

"Hey everybody - These girls are from the EAST COAST!" I announced, to everyone and nobody in particular.

There was a guy next to me who looked like Cuba Gooding Jr, so I said:

"Hey, Cuba! These girls are from the EAST COAST! Oh, and I loved you in 'Snow Dogs'.'"

It turns out, it really was Cuba Gooding Jr. My friend tapped me on the shoulder to stop me, but now possessed by the spirit of none other than José Cuervo himself, I introduced Cuba to my alien friends... (see more)

Hmmm... I am at no shortage for stories about weird guys hitting on me. (It's always weird guys. Never men who seem to be sane and stable.)
The most memorable was New Year's Eve two year ago. This drunk dude was using all the cheesiest pick-up lines, and I was having none of it. I swear I could see the moment he decided to just be a total dick: He took his glass of red wine, said, "Oops!" and dumped it on the front of my favorite shirt. As if he thought that was the magic touch, he says, "Oh darn. Looks like we need to get you out of that shirt.

He left with a black eye, and I wasn't allowed to go back there for a while. (I have since been re-admitted under the condition I'm not allowed to hit anyone.)  (see more)

A few years ago: After dancing with a pretty girl I tried to compliment her by saying:"it's incredible how little you sweat...I mean considering your size." she wasn't happy about it.  (see more)

I was having a bad day so I went to Panera to comfort myself with a mocha icy espresso. There was this guy with a bunch of his friends and he attempted to make conversation but I totally turned him down by ignoring his "Hey Girl" call. One of his friends pushed him towards me which caused him to knock over my drink and have it spill all over my white blouse. He got so scared he dashed to the front counter to grab a bunch of napkins and started to wipe down the table. I stood up and marched out of the cafe and he chased after me only to stop me and say "I'm sorry my friends are stupid. It's really not that bad, it's actually kind of cute...it's a cute stain really...it looks like a design of some sort...really it's cute!" (see more)

This girl just came up to me in the mall and asked if she couuld take a picture of me and my friends. awkward as can be we tried walking away. but then we went tot he movies and they bought the same tickets and sat right behind us. we ended up leaving the movie cause they were so ugly and weird (see more)