MLIA [My Life Is Average]

Today, like everyday I put something around 7 inches long into my mouth. Holding it at one end I closed my mouth around it, and began sliding it gently in and out of my mouth. After a couple of minutes a white liquidy substance was all inside my mouth and it was over.
I'm glad it happened, I really needed to brush my teeth! MLIA! (see more)

Today I won a million dollars, but I closed out of the pop-up anyway. MLIA
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Today, my wife left me and my house burned down. I quit the sims and did not save. MLIA  (see more)

Today, I beat my son. But that's ok because my starting 6 pokemon are stronger than his. MLIA
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"Today, I wore white pants to school and started bleeding. Luckily, my friend had a band-aid for my finger" MLIA (see more)

"Last night, I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film. I stepped outside into the rain, checked my phone and saw you rang, so I called you back." MLIA  (see more)

Today I walked in on my parents in bed. It's okay though because they were reading. MLIA (see more)

t was raining out the other day so I went to the fridge and got some Sunny-D stood out in the rain and opened it. It did not unleash the power of the sun, and i was now wet. MLIA (see more)

Today, while mowing the lawn, I looked over the other side of the fence. The grass was not greener, it was the same shade. MLIA  (see more)

Just the other day, me and my friends were having an intense three way. Suddenly, my friends mouth started to bleed when we were both going for the ball. Basketball is X-Treme. MLIA (see more)

I made this one up for the site:

Tonight, I will sleep on top of my sister. I have the top bunk and she has the bottom bunk. MLIA. (see more)

Today, I made a new account on a website. It said my password strength was "weak". I made it "strong". I can't remember my password. MLIA  (see more)

I drank a red bull and i did not get wings. MLIA (see more)

Today I installed a program and it asked if I had read and agreed to the terms and conditions. I hadn't, but I clicked 'yes' anyway. The program didn't know I lied, and began to install. MLIA.  (see more)

Today, I went to a farm and touched a pig. I did not get swine flu. MLIA.  (see more)

Today, I had a milkshake. It did not bring all the boys to the yard. MLIA  (see more)

Today I was chilling out, maxing, relaxing and acting all cool, shooting some b-ball outside of the school, when a couple of guys, who were up to no good, started making trouble in my neighborhood. They continued on their way and didn't bother me at all. MLIA
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Put two fingers into it gently. Twist around and slide fingers out gently. Thats how I clean a cup! (see more)

Today, I read the quote "Shit happens, deal with it". A few minutes later my 4 month old son pooped in in his diaper. I dealt with it. MLIA
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Today, someone checked me out. I was at Walmart. MLIA.
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