Funniest Song Lyrics!

Host:
Lets meet contestant number 1, he's a schizophrenic serial killer clown who says; 'women love his sexy smile'. Let's find out if his charm will work on Sharon. Sharon, what's your question?

Sharon:
Contestant #1, I believe first impressions last forever. So lets
say you were to come over to my parent's house and have dinner with me and my family, tell me what you'd do to make that first impression really stick.

Contestant #1:
Lets see..hm.. well, I'd have to think about it.
I might show up in a tux HA but I doubt it.
I'd probably just show up naked like I always do,
and look your mama in the eye and tell her fuck you!
Hurry up bitch I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti,
I'd pinch her limpy ass and tell her 'get the food ready!'
Your dad would probably start trippin' and get me pissed,
I'd have to walk up and BUST him in his fuckin' LIPS.
It's dinner time, we're hearin' grace from your mother
I'd pull a 40 out and pour some for your little brother.
I'm steady starin' at your sist (see more)

"Bret, you got it going on.
The ladies will get to know your sexuality when they get to know your personality.
I said, Bret, you got it going on.
Not in a gay way, just in a "hey mate, I wanted to say that you're looking okay, mate."
Why can't a heterosexual guy,
Tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty is fly."

~Flight of the Conchords
Bret, You Got it Goin On (see more)

"I flip my latkes in the air sometimes sayin ayy ohh spin the dreidel
Just wanna celebrate for all eight nights singin ayy oh, light the candles

We say al hanissim
Oh yea for all eight nights
Then we play dreidel
By the candlelight

And I told you once
Now I told you twice
Bout the miracle
Of the candlelight"

Candlelight by the Maccabeats.

 (see more)

Oh, I still haven't figured out the safety on my rifle yet-
Little Fluffy took a round, better take him to the vet-
I filled that kitty cat so full of lead
We'll have to use him for a pencil instead
Well, I'm so trigger happy, trigger happy every day!
 (see more)

Why cant people understand, i got a short attention span, shooort attention spaaaaaan (see more)

Vulcanize the whoopee stick
In the ham wallet

Cattle prod the oyster ditch
With the lap rocket

Batter dip the cranny ax
In the gut locker

Retrofit the pudding hatch
Ooh la la
With the boink swatter

If i get you in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though
I brazillian wax poetic so hypothetically
I don't wanna beat around the bush

Foxtrot Unifrom Charlie Kilo (x2)

Marinate the nether rod
In the squish mitten

Power drill the yippee bog
With the dude piston

Pressure wash the quiver bone
In the bitch wrinkle

Cannonball the fiddle cove
Ooh la la
With the pork steeple

Foxtrot Unifrom Charlie Kilo (x4) (see more)

It boiled up like a tower.
A monument in the park.
It's the cock of a rifle.
A memory in the dark.

You tried to keep it a secret.
But now the world's gonna know.
You tried for perfection.

But then oh uh oh. erection.
oh uh oh. erection.



 (see more)