Lamest Brag

Okay, so I totally like - bilked that mafia don out of millions and millions of dollars.

So what if he is the capo of a billion dollar, murder-for-hire and drug-running endeavor? So what if he has ordered the rape, murder, and torture of more people than Pol Pot or Stalin combined?

I totally filched hundreds of thousands of dollars from that douchebag and spent it on hookers and illicit drugs. I even had sex with his daughter! Me! Sex with the 15 year old daughter of an international criminal who has no regard for law, mores, or even basic human decency!

Man, I'm really loquacious after a few drinks.

You look Italian --- anyone ever tell you that?

What? You're last name is Gotti? As in, a member of one of the 5 families, Gotti?

Oh, shit...You're not gonna tell Don Luigi about this, are you? (see more)

hey guys guess what! i just hacked intpo a site of food delivery and i now get 2 percent-off coupons for hummus! woooo!! (see more)

I once sneezed 28 times in a row!! (yes, this actually happened to me!!) (see more)

Living in LA, I hate it when people brag/lie about the projects they have going/not really going...oh so lame. (see more)

I just tricked President Bush! haha! (see more)

I finally have armpit hair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (see more)

guess who just got his first pube... (see more)

your trans calculas tests are too simple for an ap calculas class member like me (see more)

i hate when people brag about there always like haha i beat you in this ahah i beat you in that its like shut the fuck up congratuufrickinglations i dont give a flying fuckity doo dah  (see more)

I'm smarter than paris hilton (see more)

GUESS WHAT!! i earned ten dollars on neopets and i just bought a new neopet! YESS!!!! (see more)

I am so goog at singing, that i won against MICHAEAL JACKSON!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!! (see more)