Your Best Need A Twix Moment

I was on a first date with a girl....her name was Heather. After about an hour of being out together I turned to her and said "So Kimberly". D'oh!!
I mean NOT EVEN CLOSE to Heather.
She said, "What did you just call me?!"
.....need a moment? (see more)

so u probably know where im going with this but..
1. there i was alone
2. a fart was in effect
3. fine lady came in
4. 1st thing i said was 'hey how u doin'?'
5. she says 'fine n u?'
6. smells it
7. i say 'that wasn't me'
8. she says 'mmhm'
9. i get off a floor im not supposed 2 b on

- twix moment (see more)

i was in class and the teacher was getting on someone about something stupid,then he says "why cant u be more like this guy?"(he was pointing to a straight "A" student) i blurted out "why would any one wanna be like that d**k"
...i realy needed a moment (see more)

I was at an awards ceremony accepting numerous awards. Of course I had to walk up and down the stairs several times. Well, one of those times my inner klutz came out. I fell face first onto the next person climbing the steps. I tumbled to the ground with no broken bones. However, a bruised ego... I fell in front of 300 people. (see more)

I wear contacts and had a bad eye infection so I couldn't wear them or glasses. My family thought it would be a great idea to go miniture golfing so they got me the brightest ball on earth and just kinda pointed me in the direction of the hole. newaz I have NO depth perception so I see green a little brown border and some more green I step over the green to a three foot drop flat on my face the whole course was laughing at me. To make matters worse about a week later a friend and I were flirting with these guys at the mall and one of them goes "you look familiar" and suddenly it dawns on him and he goes "hey you fell off the golf course! my friends and I laughed at you for hours" needless to say a twix and a backhanded were needed at the moment (see more)

For a week I thought a good friend's dad died and I was going to his funeral.

Apparently at the funeral, it was my other friend's dad.

I think I would have enjoed a twix then. (see more)

My boyfriend had just got off work so I wanted to call him and chat a bit. I grabbed my cell and pressed the re-dial button. As soon as someone picked up, i said, "Hey babe, watcha doin??" and he goes "wat?" and i hang up really quick because i had called his house phone prior to callin his cell and it turned out to be one of his brothers instead..i was so embarrassed.. (see more)

It was almost Christmas break, so my class was wasting time playing charades. The other team told me to be an eagle protecting her eggs from predators(no joke), So i started swooping and flapping like a jack-ass. When someone shouted out that i looked like Jessica when she eats her lunch (cause she ate like a beast) i seriously laughed so hard that i farted really loudly three times in a row. It smelled to bad that everyone left the room. My teacher had to leave the windows open. My boyfriend looked very ashamed.
 (see more)

At a previous call center job, I had a customer who was making completely irrational demands, not to mention being very rude. I was so frustrated that I hit the mute button and started exclaiming,"OMG! This woman's being such a bitch!"...then I heard,"Excuse me?!" and realized that I didn't hit the mute button hard enough. Twix would have been my friend that day. (see more)

Walked into the men's bathroom when I was about 10 years old by accident. And saw a guy's 'thingy' haha. Nonetheless I was embarrassed. (see more)

In the old days of the Spice Girls when they wore those big high runners - i had a pair and I fell off them and smacked myself against a wall. I was in a heap on the street and my friends couldnt help me up 'cause they were laughing too hard. :) Just like in the pic above. (see more)

I was caught between many lies about eating a cookie when i was 5 and I got cornered, I took the cookie jar and smashed it =) what was I thinking? (see more)

Just about a year ago I was at Burger King and I walked into the womens bathroom. I went into a stall, went to the bathroom and heard the door open. I peaked out and saw a lady! and i was like so scared and I jumped up on the toilet seat and fell in.....

Then My friends in the meantime were looking for me, and they got manager to look in the bathroom, and sure enough they found me..... (see more)

one day i was gettin my mack on and my cousin walks up and says hey ashley which was the name of my girlfriend and was like noo! but i didnt want to do anything with that girl i was just like psha i tell my girlfriend and she will laugh (see more)

This is actuallly a close friend of mine.

So my friend and i were eating breakfast one day at his house and his uncle comes over. We're all just sitting there chillin, talking about stuff. And the subject of girls comes up. So the uncle asks, so do you have a gf? and my friend replies, "yeah, i do." And my friend starts showing off about how she's really attractive and they've made out n messed around. So he pulls out a picture to show his uncle and his uncle has a disgusted look on his face and says, "Victor! That's your cousin!!!"


HAHAHAHHA its funny now, but when it happend we were all pretty disgusted. that sucks....but its not their fault, they didn't know they were related. (see more)

i went to the movies with some friends and i was the one this time that had to destract my buddys girlfriends friend so he could do work. and she was REALLY anoying so with out thinking i said
"u know what bubba its not even worth it, you can try to score some other time" his girlfriend looked at bubba with a disgusted face and bubba looked at me with an angry face... mean while the people in the theatre were mad cuz i yell in the middle of a movie

need a moment? (see more)

We had this sub who was creepy and mean. This other kid who sits across from me is pretty gay. I really dont like him. He starts putting his feet on my legs and im kicking them off of me when the teacher looks at us in and says in front of the whole class, "Stop playing with each other's feet." I was so embarrassed.  (see more)

First film project in high school, one shot was a tracking shot where you just follow someone moving. I followed my friend in a rolling chair down the hall and i slammed into a pole. When we watched everyone's videos, the teacher rewound that part over and over. (see more)

I was in a basketball game and I got fouled and then i missed the second shot and rebounded it and this guy was playing really tough defence and when i put the shot up he tried to block it and missed, hitting me in the face..... So i socked him a few punches and i got pulled out of the game..... (see more)

I was at my cousin's house and we were ridding a double bike to walmart and my paints ripped.(and we were 2 miles away from his house)
I needed a moment.... (see more)