What I learned from video games

nothing in the universe of video games can get passed a locked door. it dont matter if you shoot it, blow it up, or attack it with a chainsaw. it doesnt fucking open (see more)

1. Controllers shatter on impact with hard wood floors.

2.Random grenades always kill someone.

3.A 50 cal. doesn't shoot well from the hip.

4.Even though it looks like you shoot someone, the server lag makes you die. (PS3)

5.Computer ALWAYS CHEATS!

6.Formula for eternal life: up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Start.

7.The closer you sit, the more ducks you can kill.

8.You cannot shoot the dog.

9.Barrels explode.

10.Tecmo Bowl Weave

11.Spawn Camping is a legitiment strategy.

12.Green tubes will lead you to coins.

13.Computer A.I. only sees you, not your teammates.

14.Your always out numbered.

15.If I would have studied instead of playing video games, I would have more money and could have done something with my life.

16.Video games don't make people violent, bad parenting does. (see more)

No matter how bad your life is going (e.g., You fell in a bottomless pit, an evil mushroom touched you, a hammer throwing turtle hits you), you can always just Restart and begin anew. (see more)

Die you zombie, die! (see more)

That the most effective way to kill a ZOMBIE is by shooting them in the head. So when Zombies take over the world..i'll be ready! will you? (see more)

1.) it is okay to kill people to save your cousin.
2.) spray painting your stops cops chasing you.
3.) illegally street racing is okay if your are try to get an achievment. (see more)

when you use a hooker and then kill her you get your money back (see more)

never try to jack a police cruiser (cop car) if

A. it's locked
or
B. A cop is inside (see more)

1. All problems can be solved with violence
2. If you find food lying on the ground, eat it
3. You can smash things and get away with it
4. When someone dies, they disappear
5. Ninjas are common, and often fight in public
 (see more)

hand, eye coordination (see more)

Lie,Cheat, and Steal (see more)

I've learned that the princess in video games may always be the damsel in distress, but she's also a cheating whore.

Example: I beat "Mario" with Mario and she hooked up with Mario at the end. As a twist (and to she if she would stoop that low) I played as Luigi and the bi*ch hooked up with him afterward!

Moral of the story...A princess will hook up with whomever the winner turns out to be. (see more)

shooting a zombie in the head is not that good they can still crawl around...a hot frying pan to the face is very nice....chainsawing them in half is useful in a tight pinch...lighting them on fire is bad they chase u around and u BURN....shotguns are like the best weapons for zombie killing...zombies dont drown... (see more)

Dead people don't care if you steal from them (see more)

when times get hard CHEAT (see more)

I learned that you should not shoot your teammates* if you don't want to get shot. If they go down, we go down with them.

*friends, in life, or teammates (see more)

Do know if this comes under a life lesson as such but anyway here it is:
After playing Grand Theft Auto 4 since the day of release, I went to New York in October last year with a mate and we managed to navigate our way round certain parts of the city from recognising it from the game!!

Who says you need a map to find your way round places!! haha

Although we did have a map yes!! lol

 (see more)

If a guy stuck a plasma grenade at you, ur gonna die anyways so run up close to them and drag them to hell with you (see more)

i learned that you you can kill people lots of different ways (see more)

i can chainsaw people not on my team lol  (see more)