best/worst lie you ever told

This story is based in Mumbai, India. circa 2004.
Once, during work, I needed to enter a building at 3 am and the security guard wouldn't let me.
After about half an hour of futile negotiating, i was ready to give up. But my driver came up with this *brilliant* idea of impersonating a police officer ( plain clothed police officer) and letting us in.

Unfortunately, the security guard knew all the local officers on a first name basis and called our bluff. He went to the local police office, complained and me and my driver spent a night in jail! (see more)

im pregnant.

i told this to my mother..
dry humor sucks (see more)

i love you (see more)

Ok so long story short it was my soph yr of high school and i told my mom i was going to my friends house after a football game.. well she told her mom she was goin to my house. we really stayed at her boyfriends house with him and his friend. His friends step mom even took us home and would have pretended to be each other mom incase either one of our parents got suspicious because they havent met each other. (see more)

When I was about 7 years old, I went under my sisters bed w/ a lighter, and started lighting the threads that would go down from the Bed Mattress. I was burning a lot of lil ones then I saw a long one, lit it, and the whole queen bed caught on fire, and the white walls were black and so was the ceiling. I told my mom it was a ghost, mom was upset :(.. Worse lie ever. (see more)

I once told a really big lie.

It was about how I could fly.

I told people that if they weighed less than 100 lbs, and they put canvas and nailed it to really light wood, they would be able to fly like a bird.

So, they didn't believe me (naturally). I told them it worked and even explained the physics behind how it worked.

Anyways, one dumb ass believed me and tried to take to the air.

He climbed on top of the community center in our town and jumped off...The canvas held onto him for about 5 seconds and he fell down about 20-30 feet.

He would have kicked my ass if not for the fact that he couldn't get up.

We were laughing for days after that. (see more)

When i was in high school i was kind of mean. I called this girls house phone.. i didnt like her at all and her mom answered and said Heather wasnt home and i told her to leave a message and i totally lied to get her in trouble. i said:
" Hi my name is Kelly from Planned Parenthood. I was calling to give Heather her pregnancy results. Have her call me back please."

And her mom was so pissed. And the next day at school Heather came into class and it looked like she had been crying. I felt soooooo bad :( (see more)

i got my friend's cellphone and started calling his mom just for fun. i talked to his mom and told her that " hey mom, i'm smoking". the funny thing about that is the mom didn't believe my friend hahaha so the mom grounded my friend for almost a month. hahahaha (see more)

I was on MySpace at school and the librarian caught me. She asked me why I was on a page I shouldn't be on and I told her that I was doing a project to see how long it would take for someone to notice. She believed me and told me to keep up the good work!!! (see more)

In college, I pretended to be blind (cane and glasses) at the mall touching and feeling women inappropriately by "mistake." I told them I had a horrible accident as a child leaving me without sight. This led to sympathy or pity, and usually the bedroom, which led to some interesting moments and more lies.  (see more)

I've never told a lie (see more)