Funniest quote

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
If I'm not back in five minutes... wait longer! xD (see more)

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car" (see more)

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
- Mitch Hedberg (best comedian ever) (see more)

We don't quit at half time! You don't score until you score!

Steve Stifler (Seann W. Scott) - American Pie (see more)

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."

This was said by Rita Mae Brown. (see more)

If I could pray with my cock, I would be much more religious. (see more)

Gerald:"Never give up,trust your instincts!"

3 seconds later...

Gerald:"Oh fcuk,i quit!"
 (see more)

no.1
Kaidou: Fshhhhhh...
no.2
Ikkaku: Rescue her? How many of you are there? Seven? Eight?
Ichigo: Five people and a cat. (see more)

"Hello. My name is Doctor Bean...apparantly."

By Rowan Atkinson, acting Dr Bean in the movie "Bean". (see more)

A friend who is near and dear may in time become as useless as a relative.
-George Ade. (see more)

"i look like this by choice...you on the other had look like tht becus god hates yu" lol (see more)

"When I die I want to go peacefully, like my grandfather, sleeping, not screaming, like the passenger in his car" (see more)

"It's not my fault God gave me the good looking body of a 14 yr. old japanese girl. (see more)

"In death, all you are doing is getting rid of that old body", he died at 27 (see more)