Pirate Jokes

Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?Because they can spend years at C!

HAH LOL! (see more)

A pirate gets off his ship and walks into a local pub with a steering wheel in his pants. He walks up to the bartender to get some rum when all of the sudden the bartender asks him, "Why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?" The pirate looks at him and shrugs, "I don't know, but it's driving me nuts!" (see more)

Q:what do pirates and pimps have in common?

A:they both say YO-HO and walk with a limp! (see more)

What’s a pirate’s favorite country?
AARRRRGGHentina!  (see more)

What does a Dyslexic Pirate Say?

RRAAAAAAAAAAA!! (see more)

Q. Why do pirates have patches and peg legs?

A. Chuck Norris (see more)

What is a pirates girlfriends name??



PEGGY!!! (see more)

Why couldn't the little kids watch the movie at the theater?
Because it was rated ARRR! (see more)

How do I know that the toothbrush was invented by a pirate?

If it wasn't it'd be called a teethbrush (see more)

what's a pirate's favorite kind of socks?

arrrrgyle! (see more)

What's a pirate's favourite companion?
A Hooker. (see more)

A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head. He sits down at the bar and orders some dirty rum.

The bartender asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?"

"Arrrrr..." says the pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"
 (see more)

Pirate walks into a bar and upon ordering a pint of rum he spots a great looking wench that his eye has evarrr seen. He walks up to the maiden wench and tells her: "Aye me and my mateys arrrrre on a treasure hunt and im digging your chest." (see more)

There once was a pirate named Bates,
Who danced the Fandango on skates.
He fell on his cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates! (see more)

Pirate walks into a bar with a hook and a eye patch.
then he asks how u loose the hand?
i was boarding a ship and it was shot off by a connon ball
then he asks how u get the eye patch?
i looked up and a bird pooped on my eye
Bartender says i dont see how that could make u loose and eye.
Aye first day with the hook (see more)

How did the Pirate win the championship boxing tournament?

With his killer left hook! (see more)

Q:wat's a horny pirate's worst nightmare?

A:a sunken chest with no booty!! (see more)

Arrrrr you ready for this joke? 'Cause there ain't one!

Arr Arr Arrr!!!!!






idk... the pirates LOVE it. Lol. (see more)

A little boy dresses up as a pirate for halloween. He has a bit of a speech impediment. The first house he goes to he says, "I'm a birate. This is my barrot. Can I have some bandy?" The woman looks at him and says, "My my aren't you cute. But where are your buccaneers?" The boy looks are her angrily and says "On the side of my buckin head you buckin dumass." (see more)

Whats a pirate's favorite cereal?
Captain CAARRRRrrrrgh-unch!  (see more)