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Pirate Jokes

September 19th is Talk Like a Pirate Day! In honor of the day, share the best Pirate Jokes. Keep the jokes funny and clean- with no repeats.


total challengers: 35   
1st
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Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?Because they can spend years at C!

HAH LOL! (see more)
 
bulldoggx
RATING: 3.7  VIEWS: 2813  VOTES: 36

 

2nd
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A pirate gets off his ship and walks into a local pub with a steering wheel in his pants. He walks up to the bartender to get some rum when all of the sudden the bartender asks him, "Why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?" The pirate looks at him and shrugs, "I don't know, but it's driving me nuts!" (see more)
 
APech13
RATING: 3.6  VIEWS: 2756  VOTES: 31

 

3rd
Q:what do pirates and pimps have in common?

A:they both say YO-HO and walk with a limp! (see more)
 
TTime
RATING: 3.6  VIEWS: 2746  VOTES: 23

 

4th
What’s a pirate’s favorite country?
AARRRRGGHentina!  (see more)
 
Heat_Girl
RATING: 3.6  VIEWS: 2242  VOTES: 19

 

5th
What does a Dyslexic Pirate Say?

RRAAAAAAAAAAA!! (see more)
 
Am_Using
RATING: 3.6  VIEWS: 2397  VOTES: 25

 

6th
Q. Why do pirates have patches and peg legs?

A. Chuck Norris (see more)
 
Dan_the_Legend
RATING: 3.6  VIEWS: 2645  VOTES: 27

 

7th
What is a pirates girlfriends name??



PEGGY!!! (see more)
 
vegas609
RATING: 3.5  VIEWS: 2451  VOTES: 22

 

8th
Why couldn't the little kids watch the movie at the theater?
Because it was rated ARRR! (see more)
 
LoveAmelia
RATING: 3.5  VIEWS: 2389  VOTES: 33

 

9th
How do I know that the toothbrush was invented by a pirate?

If it wasn't it'd be called a teethbrush (see more)
 
simguy665
RATING: 3.5  VIEWS: 2155  VOTES: 6

 

10th
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what's a pirate's favorite kind of socks?

arrrrgyle! (see more)
 
gotgame
RATING: 3.5  VIEWS: 2719  VOTES: 29

 

11th
What's a pirate's favourite companion?
A Hooker. (see more)
 
reez711
RATING: 3.5  VIEWS: 2120  VOTES: 18

 

12th
A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head. He sits down at the bar and orders some dirty rum.

The bartender asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?"

"Arrrrr..." says the pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"
 (see more)
 
imjustbeast12
RATING: 3.5  VIEWS: 2193  VOTES: 22

 

13th
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Pirate walks into a bar and upon ordering a pint of rum he spots a great looking wench that his eye has evarrr seen. He walks up to the maiden wench and tells her: "Aye me and my mateys arrrrre on a treasure hunt and im digging your chest." (see more)
 
Jonathas_Carvalho
RATING: 3.5  VIEWS: 1791  VOTES: 5

 

14th
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There once was a pirate named Bates,
Who danced the Fandango on skates.
He fell on his cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates! (see more)
 
Xx_ROcKStAR_xX
RATING: 3.5  VIEWS: 2058  VOTES: 15

 

15th
Pirate walks into a bar with a hook and a eye patch.
then he asks how u loose the hand?
i was boarding a ship and it was shot off by a connon ball
then he asks how u get the eye patch?
i looked up and a bird pooped on my eye
Bartender says i dont see how that could make u loose and eye.
Aye first day with the hook (see more)
 
TheNeck4544
RATING: 3.5  VIEWS: 1993  VOTES: 17

 

16th
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How did the Pirate win the championship boxing tournament?

With his killer left hook! (see more)
 
AllyisaGee
RATING: 3.5  VIEWS: 2339  VOTES: 27

 

17th
Q:wat's a horny pirate's worst nightmare?

A:a sunken chest with no booty!! (see more)
 
TTime
RATING: 3.5  VIEWS: 2259  VOTES: 20

 

18th
Arrrrr you ready for this joke? 'Cause there ain't one!

Arr Arr Arrr!!!!!






idk... the pirates LOVE it. Lol. (see more)
 
snimmybill
RATING: 3.5  VIEWS: 1785  VOTES: 4

 

19th
A little boy dresses up as a pirate for halloween. He has a bit of a speech impediment. The first house he goes to he says, "I'm a birate. This is my barrot. Can I have some bandy?" The woman looks at him and says, "My my aren't you cute. But where are your buccaneers?" The boy looks are her angrily and says "On the side of my buckin head you buckin dumass." (see more)
 
kinetic_85
RATING: 3.5  VIEWS: 1847  VOTES: 13

 

20th
Whats a pirate's favorite cereal?
Captain CAARRRRrrrrgh-unch!  (see more)
 
max14
RATING: 3.4  VIEWS: 1940  VOTES: 17



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Comments

NadiaYassin
over 3 years ago
re: Pirate Jokes
5* :D
LoveAmelia
LoveAmelia HOFer
over 3 years ago
re: Pirate Joke
RJBrian: Thanks.
LoveAmelia
LoveAmelia HOFer
over 3 years ago
re: Pirate Joke
SrVigalot: I know, I can't help it.
RJBrian
RJBrian pantheon
over 3 years ago
re: Pirate Joke
lol 5!!! :)
colonelengle
colonelengle franchise
over 3 years ago
SrVigalot
SrVigalot HOFer
over 3 years ago
re: Pirate Joke
lol, you goof
Manfredino1989
over 3 years ago
snimmybill
snimmybill all-star
over 3 years ago
LoveAmelia
LoveAmelia HOFer
over 3 years ago
re: Pirate Joke
snimmybill: That just shows how cool I am.
gotgame
gotgame legend
over 3 years ago
re: what's a pirate's favorite kind of socks?
cheesy, right? I love bad jokes!
snimmybill
snimmybill all-star
over 3 years ago
re: Inventions
LOL. Very Funny.
snimmybill
snimmybill all-star
over 3 years ago
re: Oh pirates..
:) 5
snimmybill
snimmybill all-star
over 3 years ago
re: Joke!!
LOL!!! I love it! :DDDD
snimmybill
snimmybill all-star
over 3 years ago
re: poetry!
Nice...
snimmybill
snimmybill all-star
over 3 years ago
re: My Pirate Joke!
But I think the first letter they learn is Arrrr! Lol.
snimmybill
snimmybill all-star
over 3 years ago
re: Pirate Joke
How original! Lol.
snimmybill
snimmybill all-star
over 3 years ago
re: Pirate Dating
Nice...
snimmybill
snimmybill all-star
over 3 years ago
snimmybill
snimmybill all-star
over 3 years ago
re: Punchline pirate joke
So THAT's why I never find the pirates aboard the ship! They're in the back!
snimmybill
snimmybill all-star
over 3 years ago
snimmybill
snimmybill all-star
over 3 years ago
re: Yarr.
Kind of a stretch... but that's ok! Lol.
snimmybill
snimmybill all-star
over 3 years ago
re: pirate joke
Q: Why are pirates alive? A: Chuck Norris.... what's the difference? Lol.
Checkit_Chica
Checkit_Chica starter
over 3 years ago
re: More pirate jokes
AJAJAAAAaaaaaaa!! Loca!
Kev_5
Kev_5 starter
over 3 years ago
re: cute pirate joke
PEGGGYY! LOL
kyrotho
kyrotho franchise
over 3 years ago
re: More pirate jokes
hahaha im totally using this on my dyslexic frriends to see if they get it..
 
Started byThis competition was created by gotgamegotgame

More from gotgame


IBY Awards (2)

“funny old school joke”
— Kev_5 awarded Pirate Joke
over 3 years ago
“lol”
— beepah awarded Pirate Problems
over 3 years ago