Worst Award to Receive

When I was back in the restaurant industry, I used to drink even more than I do now. I was also a little manipulative, and I liked watching other people's drama.

At the Holiday Party one year, we had an awards ceremony. Employees won such awards as 'Most Punctual Employee' and 'Most Valuable Bartender.' There were other awards, but I won't bore you with them.

Anyway, the last award came as a surprise to me. Since I had been involved in planning the party, I had also helped designate the awards recipients. It turns out my co-managers had one last award just for me.

I won the 'Most Likely to Start A Fight' Award. It seemed strange to me because I never got in physical altercations or even verbal ones. I just orchestrated other people's sordid melodramas.

Dejected, I proceeded to get really drunk and orchestrate my masterpiece.

One of the manager's had been cheating on his girl, and I sorta outed him to a notorious gossip. The fireworks that followed were awesome!  (see more)

YAY YOU ! you're a bitch, and everyone feels you were the most deserving. feels great huh!?  (see more)

congratulations you have just received the douchebag of the year award would you feel? (see more)

The Smelliest Kid in the Class.

Everybody has had a class with a really smelly kid in it.

Hope its not you. (see more)

Ya, I definitely wouldn't want to get a Darwin award lol. People do some stupid stuff. For those of you who don't know what a Darwin Award is: Awards have been given for people who "do a service to Humanity by removing themselves from the Gene pool", i.e., lose the ability to reproduce either by death or sterilization in a stupid fashion. (see more)

Congratulations, youve been voted the ugliest person on the planet!!! woohoo (see more)

Ok, I'm not in the acting industry but if I were this would be the most likely award I would get! (see more)

Congratulations youve been awarded the most likely to be killed or commit suacide award. no seriously juts do it already (see more)

FATTEST PERSON ON EARTH AWARD (see more)

"Most Likely to turn into the other sex" award (see more)

"The most likely to become the fattest mam/woman ever" (see more)

Hello! I am an agent from the Lover's Orange Sanctuary of Equanimity and Resolvent (L.O.S.E.R.for short :). We are proud to announce that YOU have been chosen to receive a lifetime's supply of tongue depressors and throat chakra lessons! We hope you enjoy! (see more)

Hell, and Congratulations on being the dumbest human being alive. You will never contribute to society and we really have no use for you....you might as well be dead. Thank you....and have a good life. (see more)

Being underestimated as a loser...

Lower than loser...u would feel so bad for yourself (see more)

most likely to get eaten by a bear that would be a pretty sucky award.... i also heard the trophys made of wood  (see more)

(newspaper reads) Local Man Wins the EDA award for his 2008 win in a game of Battle$hits. (see more)

my friend was in a dodgeball competition...and his team was so bad that they got

3rd place in sportsmanship (see more)

silver medal: you are the best of the losers :'( (see more)