Best Chuck Norris Facts

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. (see more)

Chuck Norris is the only person ever to fool Scooby Doo and the Gang. (see more)

Sadly, and contrary to popular belief, Lance Armstrong lost BOTH his testicles. Not to cancer, but to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Note: Chuck didn't kick him in the nuts, he kicked him in the back of the head and Lance's balls popped out. Feeling bad about it later, Chuck gave Lance one of his own testicles (he was born with 4). Armed with Chuck's super-juice, Lance went on to win the Tour de France 7 consecutive times. His remaining testicle is also impervious to cancer. (see more)

When Chuck Norris throws a boomerang, the boomerang does not return because it is scared to come back. (see more)

chuck norris is watching this competition and is going to roundhouse kick the winner in the face (see more)

When Chuck Norris jumps into a pool, he doesn't get wet... the water gets chuck Norris'd. (see more)

Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest (see more)

When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways........ (see more)

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Wendy's....and got one (see more)

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" (see more)

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.  (see more)

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.  (see more)

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face. (see more)

Chuck Norris freuquently donates blood to the blood donation centers. But not his own. (see more)

Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair.... It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror. (see more)

Chuck Norris doesnt talk. He thinks the words then he sends it to your head with a Karatie KICK. (see more)

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.  (see more)

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door...... (see more)

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. (see more)

Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club (see more)