Best Chuck Norris Facts

Chuck Norris uses a nightlight when he goes to sleep. Not because he's afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. (see more)

Chuck Norris can divide by zero (see more)

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma. (see more)

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough. (see more)

Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires. (see more)

Big foot takes pictres of Chuck Norris (see more)

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. (see more)

u know how they talk about killing two birds with one stone, well chuck norris has killed two stones with one bird (see more)

Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet. (see more)

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris. (see more)

James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger. (see more)

everytime you masterbate chuck norris punches a mexican baby in the face. (see more)

Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen

the sun wears Chuckscreen (see more)

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer. (see more)

When we play games we cheat with the GOD code, when God plays games he cheats with the CHUCK code! (see more)

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer, Because Chuck Norris is always in control. (see more)

chuck norris went to the virgin islands... now they are just the islands (see more)

Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, a green number 4 Uno card, and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card. (see more)

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.  (see more)

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield. (see more)