Best Chuck Norris Facts

Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries. (see more)

Chuck Norris's tears cures all, unfortunately, he doesn't cry. (see more)

Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse, the horse is hung like chuck norris (see more)

Contrary to popular belief, there is no night and day. Chuck Norris either Claps On or Claps Off. (see more)

Chuck Norris can divide with zero. (see more)

chuck norris has won the tour the france with a cyclette (see more)

Old daddy is back (see more)

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer... too bad he has never cried...ever. (see more)

When Chuck Norris watch Titanic, the boat doesn't run (see more)

chuck norris can beat a brick wall at tennis (see more)

Chuck Norris......Nuff Said.... (see more)

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip. (see more)

Chuck Norris is so Rough that he wipes his ass with this... (see more)

the sun cannot stare directly at Chuck Norris (see more)

CHUCK NORRIS DONT DO SIT UPS THE WORLD SITS HIM UP. BEHIND HIS BEARD , HIDES ANOTHER FIST.
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Chuck Norris neither melts in your mouth nor in your hand. He shreds your trachea before ravaging your soul with a combination of chocolate, whickey, roundhouse kicks and death. Oh, and pain. Lots of pain. (see more)

Under Chuck Norris' beard there is no face, just another fist.  (see more)

Chuck Norris had a paper route when he was younger...there were no survivors.
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When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
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Did you know Chuck Norris killed two birds with one stone? (see more)