competition: lamest excuse for your homework

I say "Well last night I did do my homework but my dad made is #1 meatloaf and then started to choke like crazy with his face all red.Then we had to take him to the emergency room. Teacher says"Well ok but is your father home so i can call her" "Ummm Yahh"(but last night i gave my brother five bucks to act like my dad)So she calls and my bro got it.So now i'm off the hook