competition: lamest homework excuses

Once I copied a load of random text into Word, then print screen this, pasted it into Photoshop. I then used various brushes to make it appear as if it was a page that had been printed when the ink was very low! Thinking about it, it probably took me longer to make a fake page rather than actually do the homework!
Another time I used a compass to etch the text off a page in a text book and claimed I couldn't do the homework because I couldn't read the question!